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Amber Smith
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The Dawn Arises
by Mark Lawson (Age: 21)
copyright 09-07-2007


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
It has been so long
Since you left me
The nights so long
The day nonexistent
Forcing this journey I make
To be forged alone
This gray horizon of my future
Shrouded in darkness
Enveloped in mystery
Forgotten in silence
So alone
But with its end
Does yet another begin
Bringing trials unending
Barring my way
To this place I belong
None can guide me
Only I know where
Taking the ash
That warms my soul
I carry on
Unaltered
To create what is to come
The dawn arises


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09-13-2007 Everett (dale) Pogue    

Mark: It ends with the positive note, the dawn arises. I hurt with you in the struggle. I am afraid, however, I may have done my own interpretation without punctuation to guide me. Obviously, you saw no need for that. It was needed for me, however. Thanks, Dale
09-10-2007 Samantha P.    

wow that was so....just wow
it was so beautiful, and yet so sad. its almost like you have no choice but being alone and you have excepted it until you aren't alone
this totally reminded me of song lyrics, infact i actually sung the words and made a beautiful tune
this was very short, and yet the little words you used described so much it was phenomenal
i give u a 100%
And i didn't see any errors so you are all good
09-08-2007 Frank Fields    

Courage in the face of adversity and a recounting of a life experience that requires a Phoenix-like death for rebirth and renewal. The ending removes it from remaining a hesitant presentation.

Thank you. ^^

Frank :)
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