Illusion of Hope
by
Mark Lawson
(Age: 21)
copyright 01-26-2007
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Tell me
What is there left to gain?
In a world of sadness, loneliness, and despair
A world blighted by the mistakes of her people
A constant betrayal
The years pass on
And still they never learn
Reaching for their true form
That eludes them through the night
If only they could see
What will eventually come to pass
A fire that burns must die
Leaving ash riding upon the wind
And phantoms restlessly roaming
On misfortunes of existence
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None too bright an outlook on the future of this benighted world, but then, there you go. It's humanity's fault it didn't do anything. This world is headed to self-destruction in ten years, and all people can do is bicker about gas prices. -.- Well, it's like I always say; humanity rhymes with stupidity!
This is a very strong poem. It's a mite on the short side (sorta oxymoronic, neh?). Your phrases are very powerful; you chose your words well. That last line, especially! "Misfortunes of existence". You're quite correct; humanity is the biggest misfortune that befell this poor Earth. People = complete waste of oxygen, among other things.
You should read my story, Sanctuary. I highlighted on this subject quite a lot in the beginning. I feel very strongly about our environment; in fact, I've been known to turn into the Venerated Dragon whenever somebody makes the careless mistake of disprespecting the environment around me!
Great poem, Mark! A powerful manifestation of the one truth about humanity.
I think the first three lines threw me off a bit. They didn't fit in with the rythm and strength of the rest of the poem, and I think if they were cut up a little, they might fit better.
I must say, for a man of your age, your eyes are certainly open to the truth our world holds. Many things come and go, hopes are made only to be broken by empty promises. Dreams are made, only to be shot down by someone whom thinks they can do better....*giggles* Forgive me if I am making no sense, I am lacking sleep on so many levels, but anyhow, this is a beautiful peice of art, and I look forward to reading more to come. Happy Writting, and thank you again for helping me with my dues.
Beautiful write, and I think the title suits this piece. I found many themes that are present today, and will be in the future. It's true. People never will learn. We're not immortal, we can't last forever, and eventually our actions will catch up with us. Even the greatest things must come to an end sometime, "leaving ash riding upon the wind."
wow great one i can't write a poem that good it's absalutely perfect acording to me but i also think the title should be some thing else but apart form all that it sounds great to me any way hear is my point
Welcome !
