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Regret

by Chelsea Armstrong (Age: 28)
copyright 01-25-2007


Age Rating: 18 +
Regret


No soul is an island, yet alone within a gathering of thousands is possible, if that soul is locked into a glance with something that can never be from afar. When desire out ways common sense even happiness can lose meaning, the coolest water can not quench the thirst of a dieing heart, the softest touch can nay mend a shattered body, when all that is craved is one moment alone with the desire at hand.

Even at then end of In the light of a waning moon, hidden neatly behind the soft caress of a tuft of pure white, two lovers meet. The night beckons them closer, ecstasy draws them ever near, yet the wholesome virtue of honor keeps them at bay.

Within the secluded nooks of a darkened room the latent lust is repressed against the sultry heat of summer’s tender rain. Midnight dreams of passion rage as days pass with but a glance, no touch of flesh, or word of mouth can reach as both know well the consequence of such. Should either falter both could fall, yet still in the darkness they covet all.

No soul is an island, yet alone within a gathering of thousands is possible, if that soul is locked into a glance with something that can never be from afar. When desire out ways common sense even happiness can lose meaning, the coolest water can not quench the thirst of a dieing heart, the softest touch can nay mend a shattered body, when all that is craved is one moment alone with the desire at hand.

Even at then end of days, still they crave that one moment, yet for want of a better term they fought against the dieing of the righteous till neither found the true unwavering happiness both so strongly tasted, yet never felt fully.

Only one lesson can be learned from such in life live it though no tomorrow is, or ever shall be. Go for all, lament no moment in the past, for no true regret can be if you strove for your heart, and not your head.



The thief of hearts ever more…








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        06-15-2007     Walter Jones        

You ability to turn a phrase and add life make reading your work a pleasure, as it always has been. Special gifts, creativity out weighs grammar every time.. Walt

        02-02-2007     Richard Reed Jr        

The thief of hearts ever more…

Only one of many well chosen and beautiful phrases in this powerful piece. Wonderfully written with sprinkled alliteration and the arrangement of the words and sentences were excellent.

There's much to like here.

Most fondly,

Rich

        01-31-2007     Jordan Screws        

I must admit, the picture sort of drew me into this poem. There are a few problems with spelling and punctuation: Out way-> outweigh, dieing-> dying, can not-> cannot. I also noticed a mistake in the sentence "Even at then end of In the light of a waning moon..." What exactly is the sentence supposed to mean? Did you delete parts of the intended sentence by mistake, or did you forget to put in some letters/words to finish it? Another mistake I found was in the last section, in the sentence "Only one lesson can be learned from such in life..." A colon should be placed between life and live.

Aside from those few mistakes, I can find no other notable errors. As for the positive, I like your choice of words and memorable phrases like "The coolest water cannot quench the thirst of a dying heart" and "The softest touch can nay mend a shattered body". They seem to really bring to life the soul-crushing nature of regret in romance in a memorable way. In fact, I would say a good deal of the strength present in this poem comes by the memorable phrases you use to describe feelings and give them a believable and appropriate physical sensation. A thirsty heart and a fragile body incapable of being healed by water and a soft touch respectively adds mental imagery to the physical aspects of the phrases.

The final section of verse is perhaps the most powerful, if only for the fact that it is true. From personal experience, I can say that striving for the head brings a lot more regret than striving for the heart. You seem to write from a position of experience on regret... at one point or another, we have all experienced it. My regret stems mainly from academic endeavors (oh, the quest for perfection!) while your regret is that of love. As the old saying goes, time heals all wounds...

All in all, I found this poem to be meaningful, especially in the last section. What is said there is true and can be appreciated by anyone who has entered a relationship or chased after perfection in academia, the workplace, or other such enterprises. Keep up the good work!

Jordan of the Commenting Crusaders



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