sailor scout
by
Darya A.
(Age: 12)
copyright 01-26-2007
Age Rating: 10 to 127
I am scout up in my sky
who are you are you in a fly
but no human can even say hi
is that true on no i got it wrong
it was no animal can say hi
or maybe that's not true
i can throw fire balls
what can you do
i can fail tests
can you
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I like scout as a generalization. An idea would be to capitalize scout wherever it appears.I don't understand your sentences. You might want to try some punctuation.
I am scout up in my sky
who are you are you in a fly <-- what does that mean?
but no human can even say hi
is that true on no i got it wrong
it was no animal can say hi<---Same here
or maybe that's not true
i can throw fire balls
what can you do
i can fail tests
can you
Scouts can be animals or planets that do posses superhuman powers.
Sailor Mars can throw fire balls.
Sailor Venus can do a crescent V chain.
Sailor Jupiter does a Jupiter Thunder Crescent Crash and Sailor Mercury has the powers of the ice so I would say that you use the powers of Sailor Jupiter. I really love this poem.
I'm Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders! The Commenting Crusaders, or the CC, is a group on PnP I started with my friends to improve commenting and encourage members to post more descriptive comments that will help and author improve. There was another CC, the Commenting Club started by the director (and a great poet!) Samantha H., which didn't do so well. The Commenting Crusaders are growing and working to improve PnP commenting!
Cute little poem here! You used a nice choice of words, and I enjoyed it. I do suggest you post your future work as a poetry, you should see the icon on your author page. My friend, and great writer, Mehrina B has drilled grammar and spelling rules into my head so many times I will edit this for you. I'm not great...but I'm not great with grammar like Meh; but I've come a long way! You should see a "Edit This Work" icon next to the top of my comment, click it, type in your password, and than you'll be at the editing page. Here's my edits, please tell me if you want me to e-mail these to you in the future. Feel free to shoot anything you don't like down; I don't know how close this is to your original rendition.
Sailor Scout
I am a scout up in my sky,
Who are you?
Are you able to fly?
But no human can even say "hi"
Is it true on?
No, I got it wrong
It was no animal that could say "hi"
Or maybe that's not true
I can throw fireballs
What can you do?
I can fail tests
Can you?
A few hints: "I" is always capitalized, the first letter of each line should be capitalized, as should the first letter of each important word of a title. Another words, don't capitalize "of" if it's in a title. I hope my comment helped, although if you like edits e-mailed to you rather than having them on the page just e-mail me with the link above my comments and say so. You can also lower the age rating, this is more like 4+. Welcome to PnP, good work, and keep writing!
Welcome !
