Home of: Prose, Poetry & Contests Prose-n-Poetry

Prose-n-Poetry.com

Email Us [e-mail]
Enter our Poetry Contest and Win a Cash Prize !
Welcome !

Please Sign In
MemberID

password
Save Cookie?  
Get lost password

Join Us

Points Reference

NEW! PnP Contests
Member Contests
Contest Winners

Sailor Moon Home
Games

Members
Moonatics
Gold Writers
Silver Writers
Free Members

Galleries
Sailor Moon

Music
Sailor Moon
Christmas
Read !
Poetry
Stories
Books
Columns
Recipes
MoonNotes
Write !
Poetry
Stories
Books
Recipes
MoonNotes
Workshops
Poetry Workshop
Stories Workshop
Books Workshop
Reference
Poetry Help
Stories Help
F.A.Q

Programs
Sailor Moon Episodes
Banners
Resources

On Line
Sam Hackel-Butt
Jessica Tinsley
Walter Jones
Robert Betts
4 Writers

Jennifer Campbell-Kletzli
Helga Seveguer
2 Free Members

6 Members
50 Guests

BJ's Story Challenge
by Sam Hackel-Butt (Age: 19)
copyright 02-02-2007


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
A/N: I missed the deadline :p

She always hated fig newtons, always opting for sandwiches instead, where the lettuce and tomatoes were always fresh. It didn’t matter that she replaced snacks with an almost meal; when she was hungry, she ate sandwiches. At her funeral, friends, family, professors, and others whom I could not identify arrived to pay their final respects. Surprisingly, no one shed a tear, except for a baby, who was uncomfortable in the mid summer swelter. We hadn’t seen rain in such a long time. Clouds were afraid of this part of the world during the summer, coming once or twice a month if we were lucky, which we weren’t that year. Janine was my cousin. We were the same age, and growing up, our families would gather weekly for dinners and to watch movies. It was when her parents died in a car crash involving a drunk driver did Janine move in with us.

Growing up, we couldn’t have been more different. She was very feminine, though very tomboyish, whereas my younger brother would tease me for not getting through puberty when I had just finished high school. I tried many different things to seem more grown up and mature, like high heeled shoes, and all sorts of different bras, some with padding, others using water. Janine never laughed right to my face, but I knew she found it pathetic and rather amusing to walk in on me in the bathroom measuring myself. I had my eyes out on one particular boy, who was very silent, and didn’t interact much with others. His quiet disposition, as well as his amazing ability on the badminton court captured my eye and stole my heart. I thought I might be able to fall in love with him, and I shared this with Janine. She never once said anything about love, either her own, or a comment on my love life, or lack thereof. She would just nod, and listen.

She never seemed interested in finding someone to spend her Saturday nights with, or who she could talk to, other than me. Since her parents died, she didn’t speak to anyone else but us, and even then she only spoke to the family during games or watching movies. She always loved playing wildcard games, and would always say, “Wildcard games are nothing without at least one dip,” then complete her saying with the appropriate action. We always let her slide, though I knew she’d never be able to beat me fairly. Janine’s death happened not too long after such a game where she won, of course. She finished with a bright smile, and then helped clean the table of the cards and empty snack food bowls, and went to her room. It was right across the hall from mine. The door was usually always closed, because she liked her privacy. It was nearing midnight when I decided to turn in. I changed, brushed my teeth, and on my way back from the bathroom I noticed light filtering out from under her door. That was odd, as she usually went to bed earlier than the rest of us.

I slowly opened the door, calling her name. I didn’t get to finish when I screamed, backing out of the room and slamming into my partially closed door. It pushed open, letting me fall to the floor. My mom kept my brother and I in her bedroom while my father called for help. My mom and me were in tears, hugging each other as my brother sat vigilant at the window, watching shadows creep along our back balcony. The news of what Janine had done did not sink in until after her funeral when we had just gotten home. We couldn’t bear to touch her room, to clean it out or clean it anymore than it already was from the terrifying event. I knew as I passed the door that it would never open again.


Spell Check Rhymer Poetry Analyst


Help Us Stop Plagiarism - Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize. To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste. click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before you recommend or rate the work highly...
Google
If you think this work is plagiarized please


Select a Random Work
from Stories


Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page

11-07-2007 Chermayn Fong    

That was so sad, I nearly cried and banged my head on the table trying to stop myself from crying. Anyway, that was pretty good. I loved how you left out the information how Janine died, it added more pizzaz to it.

Well, thanks for the fun read!


02-09-2007 BJ Niktabe    

Excellent job, Sam! Mehrina is right: you are gifted. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, but wished you had included how she died. The lack of that information in no way detracted from the overall story, though. You also used all of the phrases, instead of just the one that was required. Good job!

I really found it interesting that every story I've read from this challenge turned out so well. I wish you could read some from the other writers I've met.

Anyway, had you entered this in the contest, it would have made the judging process very difficult! I'm so glad you posted it anyway! Thank you! :)


02-06-2007 Mehrina B.    

Very intriguing story! T'is a pity you didn't get to enter it, because I know it would have had a very good chance of taking the blue ribbon!There's only one thing: you didn't make it clear what happened to Janine. Did she accidentally catch fire? Did she electrocute herself? O.o

You know, you're very gifted with these kind of stories. The kind that you'd read on winter nights and they make you so curious that your mind really starts running away with the possibilites. As always, fantastic job Sam!


Visitor Reads: 304
Total Reads: 316
Comments: 3

Author's Page

Email the Author

Add a Comment




Favorite of:





Send Page to a Friend
Points Reference Privacy
PnP Terms of Service Contact Us
  SEO Software

Visitors
View Stats