Serenity
by
Lyle Berry
(Age: 61)
copyright 05-27-2007
Age Rating: 18 to 127
Picture Credits:
I lie here glaring at my ceiling fan;
contemplating why the hell I am.
All these worries are a waste of breath;
all they’ll bring me is an early death.
Trials brought me to this bitter state;
apathy leaves me easy to invade.
Troubles storm my paper-buttressed walls;
I’m not ready if your trumpet calls.
Lord, grant me serenity;
let me accept – what will be will be.
Give me courage to change the things I can;
share the wisdom of your master plan.
Drank a drink from every offered cup;
I’ve tried harder and I’ve given up.
Left the saddle way before the bell;
think for sure now, I am bound for hell.
But -
Lord, grant me serenity;
let me accept – what will be will be.
Lost the courage to change the things I can;
all that’s left now’s your master plan.
And maybe, serenity;
there’s no question what will be, will be.
I’ve changed everything I ever can;
tell me Lord ‘bout the Promised Land.
And grant me serenity;
Lord, I know now what will be will be.
So, I’ll make this my final plea;
all I’ll ask for (between you and me)
is serenity….serenity…..serenity.
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The art of receiving is a difficult one to master. So many of us want to carry our own loads, even if they are loads we were never meant to carry. Serenity is a difficult thing to gain. People say they want it, but if they meant that, they'd have it. Perhaps we want only the appearance of wanting it, but in the end we will paid the intolerable compliment of being taken seriously, and shall have it I think.
OMG! I swear I wrote my latest poem and picture before I read this! I just wrote and then decided to read something of yours! Wow, I have goose bumps all over! Thanks for the uplift. Great write, good job, thanks
Lyle,
this is truly my kind of poetry; in the midst of all life's trials and tribulations, when we've done the best we can and that's not near good enough, we can turn it all over to God and know that He will do what He will do. That's the time when serenity comes and grace abounds.
Nancy
Serenity! What a goal and what a challenge! I find that writing about something helps me cope, whether it makes it to P-n-P or not. There are a few rough spots, but I'm not certain but what they do is grab the reader's wandering attention span and force it back on subject. Loved the flow of thoughts and the interrelationship of concepts--the theme of the poem. Excellent job.
Wayne
I enjoyed this poem. Seems as though the words were spoken from a distressed soul, who experineced many hardships and destitutions of life. A plea, if I might say, to God for tranquility among the already troubled mind, perhaps clemecy for past sins.
I liked the faintness of the rhyme patterns; one may think that this is a prayer rather than a poem. Also, the mention of the 'master plan' was to my liking. No one knows of God's plans except God Himself.
I really like this piece, and I think it's great just as it is. As they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
It makes me picture an elderly person, lying in bed for lack of strength to get up. Now he seems to just be waiting for whatever God has left in store.
This piece stayed wih me for some time after. I came back and re-read it. Then I read my comments. They may have seemed "Harsh criticism disguised behind pretty words." I hope they wern't taken way.
Regardless, you have received "low" marks on this piece as well as "high" marks. My comments may have been too severe. I withdraw them and address only the artistic merit of your work.
Hi;
First, I do like what you are trying in this poem. This leaves me with a question-what in here is troubling to you as a reader? It is hard to stand away from our own work,but it is vital if we are to be able to constructively improve.I suggest you read this out loud as a reader might-keeping in mind their limited insight into your writing. This is a good way to see if meter, rhyme and line breaks are effectively used. I have even used a tape recorder in this process.
Second, GB Shaw wrote his best plays in his eighties and writing is a long apprenticeship for all of us. I have some suggestions for smoothing and line breaks which I will be forwarding in in private email.
With some editorial elbow grease this could be great poem-no apathy allowed!!Up up and to the desk!
Cindy Mitchell
Not bad. Not bad at all. It seemed to lack some definition and texture and the last line seemed almost forced. This is a difficult subject for any writer to address without it entering into the realm of a cliche. Although your rhyme scheme was adequate, the syllabication threw the meter off, somewhat. It isn't necessary, of course, but I think that if rhyme and meter are going to be established as an inherent part of a piece, then special attention should be given to those portions which, as was mentioned, seemed "choppy." But, overall, not bad.
Welcome !
