Watashi wa Wakarimasu
by
Leigh G.
(Age: 14)
copyright 03-14-2007
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Watashi wa Wakarimasu
I Understand
I understand
Watashi wa wakarimasu
You have to move on
You don’t want to be together anymore
You have to go forward
And let each other go
You need to each live your own lives
At first, I couldn’t understand.
I couldn’t understand why you wanted to break apart after you’ve been through so much.
It didn’t make any sense to me.
Divorce was only suicide to me for song
I kept it to myself though
There are only two times I’ve said the D word.
One time was when there was trouble with the car registration and my dad called raving at my mother messed up
“Are you going to get a divorce?”
“If he keeps doing things like this, yes.”
She replied and lit a cigarette. as we stood on the back porch.
I was…five?
Six?
Seven?
And there was another time back in 04
In Florida
“I love you, I don’t want you to get divorced.” I was hiding my tears as I tried to keep working on English.
“Couples fight Leigh, don’t let it bother you.” She said as she lit a cigarette.
Watashi wa wakarimasu
I understand
Just part
I know divorced kids “are messed up” as my father as put it
But I’ll be fine
I’ve already cried myself to sleep too many nights to count
Now when I hear them fight, I hope they’ll divorce so I can live my life
The idea isn’t suicide anymore
It’s for the best
I’ll be happy for you two if you get divorced
Will they re-marry?
I really have no idea.
Who gets the house?
Who gets the cats?
Who will I stay with?
How will Christmas work?
Will a boyfriend or girlfriend of one of my parents kill me just like the boyfriend of that one woman in New Jersey?
I don’t know.
I’ll be fine though.
As long as you’ll be able to smile.
It’d be nice if they could wait ‘til I was eighteen…
So I could just move away and try supporting myself.
But, hell, do I want them to suffer any longer?
Time to go
Time to part
Time to change your paths in the endless flow
Watashi wa wakarimasu
I understand
It’s goodbye and hello
It’s sayonara and konnichiwa
I won’t say a word of objection
I’ll to whatever you want me to do, within reason
I work at McDonalds if that what it takes to support my mother
I get the feeling I’d stay with my mother
I’d much rather stay with her than my father
We could talk
I wouldn’t have to worry about my period being a huge problem either…
Watashi wa wakarimasu
I understand
Sayonara old life
I won’t cry while anybody is looking.
When things have calmed down, and if I’m still bleeding inside,
I’ll cry myself to sleep one night and get the emotion out
I’ll keep my schedule the same
Although I really don’t want to…I’d have to go to public school
No more home school.
I’ll probably drop out when I’m sixteen though.
I don’t like ass-grabbing male perverts hovering around
Sixteen is about when they have no personality and SAT means, “sex aptitude test”
I know I’m not going to college
It’ll be way to expensive.
We’ll probably get a rental if my mother doesn’t get the house
I wonder who’s name the title of the cars are in…
I know the van is in my mother’s name…I think!
My dad will keep chartering the sport cabin, most likely
My mother will waitress or go to her parents’ for awhile
Me?
Eh, I don’t know
I’ll just keep writing
Livin’ in my fantasies until life summons me to rise
Will I get married?
Hell no!
Will I try leading a relationship?
Not until I have a paid off house, car, and an establish job
Possible (if I can afford it and keep a real job) publish a book
With major editing, Flights of Fantasy might be presentable!
If I ever do lead a relationship
I know divorce sacraments are necessary
And that anything in my name won’t be part of the marriage
And to never change my name
And that there’s a 90% chance he’d only want to be with me because:
A. I look like a good candidate to mooch off of and sing the blues to about to pace to live
B. I look good, and he only wants a lover, tough luck if you think it’ll be me. I’m going to start working out with two ten-ponders soon. I just want to hit one-hundred reps for all five exercises with these eight-ponders first…
I guess I don’t hope much for romance
Than again…I know killing a hear isn’t too hard
I was madly in love with a guy,
Although I never saw him,
We only spoke
Every time I spoke to him after a few months…and I’d say I didn’t love him anymore
I’d be thinking of him 24/7
I killed my heart though
I said sayonara
And took back my,
“I want you to stay in this world.”
I suppose I still feel that way…
But I don’t pine to talk to him daily anymore
All I want is to be able to function alone
And publish a book or two!
It’s time you two said goodbye…
Watashi wa wakarimasu
I understand
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Wow. I know how you feel, my parents got divorced a few years ago. Your poem is perfect, in my opinion. I can feel your emotion in this poem. Good work.
Erbarley! Meg C.
Leigh,
Konnichiwa!
How can one top Mehrina's comment? I won't even try. I never went through divorce but I had a domineering father and a stubborn mother who got married when I was four, so they fought over one thing or another and gave me and my siblings many sleepless nights till I joined the army. Something seemed to change within them then and my brother noted that they seemed to fall in love after that and I used to wonder if I was the reason they fought because I was the one they beat on, not the others. Now I think it was more a clash of personalities because from that time on my relationship with my parents took a turn for the better. Go figure. Unless in their eyes I'd finally made something of myself and they both could be proud. But enough of my depression and pain. This is one of the best free verse poems I've read in a long time, much deepeer than most of my poems, which tend to be imagist and metaphorical--not necessarily at the same time. Writing is a form of therapy for me and I see for you as well. Thank you for this powerful poem. )I did eventually try a shrink and it helped!)
Yours,
Wayne
Wow....This is like dejavu. My parents....same exact thing. I should say that lol like many pieces this is obe of your longer ones......The only thing i found messed up and not grammar wise, but like in my opinion messed up is About what your dad said. About how kids with divorced parents are messed up. Well depends on what way he meant because in anyway im messed up it wasn't due to divorce. Well I don't think any one will murder me either like any crazed boyfriends or girlfriends lol. Anyway over all a good piece and I am keeping my ratio nice and high (not that it hasnt been high except when i first joined) my goal is im not going to post any more poetry or anything until i get a lot more comments. I hope this is a long enough comment to you. I bet it still was nothing like the one you left me. Keep up the good work.
Sad... My parents are divorced too but they divorced when I was really little so I barely remember. But the sad thing is that I have NEVER met my dad or practically said the word dad... Good job. I can feel your emotion through this poem. ^^
Fortunes change, Leigh. I hope for the best for you. Everything never goes wrong all the time. It's like the concept of day and night. When the darkest peak of night arrives, daylight begins. And when the height of the day comes, night soon takes over. Fortunes always change.
I don't really know how to say it. Things will work out in the end? Always have hope? Eh, I think I'll tell you a story instead.
In the Greek myths, there was a time before the civilization of mankind. Prometheus, the Titan, had just created man and to help man live through the rigors of the world, he granted man the gift of fire, brought down from the divine Mount Olympus.
Zeus was outraged that Prometheus had stolen his fire and given it to man, and to punish him, he bound Prometheus with adamantine chains to a cliff overlooking the sea. To make it worse, Zeus sent an enormous eagle to feast upon his liver, but every night, Prometheus's liver would grow right back. And so he would suffer this torture every day for the rest of his life.
Then Zeus offered him a way out. Prometheus would be freed on the conditions that an immortal would agree to die for him, and a mortal would have to kill the eagle and break the adamantine chains.
Of course, you can imagine that took a long time. Eventually, Chiron the Centaur agreed to die for him and Heracles freed him from the eagle and chains. And mankind was able to live, all because of the suffering he'd taken for them.
You've probably heard of the story of Pandora's Box as well. Well, I won't go into an entire lecture on the myth, but the moral is: The horrors that plague our world, sadness, anger, suffering, illness, horror, and all the rest, are combated with the one thing we humans were granted: hope. So I can say, always have hope. Because technically, hope is the one friend you'll always have.
But then, you know Jordan and I are always a click and keyboard away. We'll always be there for you too!
Poem was extremely touching, the kind that reminds me of crying nearby a river, while the rain cries with you.
Your free verses are some of the best I've ever read. Why and Combatant particularly were phenomenal!
I especially liked the repetition of watashiwa wa wakarimasu. You chose a great way to express your thoughts in this poem. The grammar could use one check, but I'll leave that to you. After all, I'm going to have to speed up editing progress on PA!
This is a beautiful poem about something a lot of us have had to deal with. When we're little, we always want our families to stay together no matter the cost, but sometimes it's better for all if a couple seperates. I think this is a very adult way at viewing an adult situation. Very beautiful, and I love the repetition.
Welcome !
