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Frank Fields
Wayne Thomas
2 Writers

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2 Members
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Speck of Dust
by Shannon W. (Age: 16)
copyright 07-11-2007


Age Rating: 4 to 127

 
I thought she was my friend,
A friend to the bitter end.
But oh how I was wrong.
I should have know this friendship wouldn't last long.

She had stabbed me in the back,
Trust she would always lack.

It was the final straw,
when she found my most Vulnerable flaw.

She had my trust,
but she threw it away like a speck Of dust.


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08-20-2007 Jane L.    

Nice poem, but it seems like you wrote it in a hurry. A bit short but no worry it's just my taste. There's really no need to capitalize vulnerable and of, but it would look nice to do that to the first word of each line. Yes, backstabbing hurts but each experience will only make you stronger.
07-16-2007 Samantha P.    

i love your emotion it seemed really short and it doesnt seem like its finished it looks as if it has been cut off
maybe you could add to it but i wont take of for it being so hort because maybe u want it that way, as if the poem was short and it was cut off like your friendship
i didnt see any errors but then again it wasnt that long i think it couldve used a bit more detail
But overall still a good poem
and in life friendships often do happen to go downhill because of trust and sometimes its an accident and people deserve a second chance after all we are human
Antha
Visitor Reads: 145
Total Reads: 169
Comments: 2

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