|
Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page
 12-06-2007 Cassie S.
I really like this poem! It kind of describes how I feel right now in a way. Also thank you for the comments on my poems, and the one poem of mine called "Till the day we meet" you asked why I blamed his death on someone, well he was murdered. He got shot by this one guy who he was trying to help. He was in prison and flint was trying to help his family out by being a third party for him and the guy ended up going crazy because they took him off medication in prison. so that's why that was in there. And in the poem with the old rusty knife. There was another verse to that and the knife was sharp but i didn't put it in because I didn't want people to think that's how I am now and start worrying. But anyways, I really like your poem. I like how it kind of switches throughout it from someone always being better than the rest to finding that someone and feeling empty without them. But I've always liked this thing my mom said to me one time and that is never settle for second best. Like, if you really like a guy but don't think that he likes you, don't just give up, give it a little more time. Don't go out with the person that's just kind of an option unless you know there are no other options. I've just always liked that for some reason. This poem makes great sense to me though. It somehow painted a picture in my head, only not a picture. Like, a painting filled with feelings I suppose. Well, now that I've taken up all this space, I shall be leaving now. ha ha. bye
Just a fellow writer,
~Cassie~
p.s. what is the commenting community? Is it an actual thing or just a type of icon? I wondered that. ha ha
|
10-01-2007 Frank Fields
I have hated being alone. And I have hated being with someone who I knew wasn't right, but the social part of me required a partner or companion. And in between, I always seemed to be waiting for, wanting, that one special person I could love. This poem brings back all those feelings and emotions. And, yes, even when you think you've found the one that you were waiting for (the ending line) there are still questions.
The piece is done as a circle or a cycle of life with the subject being mostly love and how tenuous it really is. Circles are the best, by the way. Takes you back up top so you want to ;read through it again and find still deeper meanings, deeper thoughts. This is not a superficial piece, at all.
Antha, you must know--you are a skilled writer, bringing your own talents into a difficult arena, and being successful with those talents. You don't need to envy anyone their writing; they need to envy you. ^_^
The emotional texture of this piece is excellent. The structure, wording, rhythm, and all the things that a "salty pen" looks at, can't find anything to be "salty" about. So it went back into it's corner to pout and not ruin the excellence of this work.
|
09-16-2007 Leah G.
Omg i looooooove this poem! I used to feel the same way- that I'd never find love (but now i have a boyfriend so everything's OK there). You describe feeling lonely perfectly and you ended the poem great! And i just love the title. i used to wonder to myself all of the feelings in this poem. Superb job! (see you are just great at writing 5 star poems- so there!)
|
09-13-2007 Lauren T.
Love is a strange thing isn't it?
Fleeting, almost.
Like something just out of your grasp, but you want it to hit you.
=D INSPIRATION!!!!!
xD I was just poetic for a moment there. hehe.
but anyway, thats how it feels.
Does love exist?
It does, if not in a lover, in friends and family.
Samantha, I really enjoyed this piece. I can relate. I'm hoping for someone to come my way and say, "I love you".
-sigh- but I'm too annoying for someone to ever do that. xD
But, looking for true love is different then wanting just attention, and that is what many of us, truly want.
Great work, it was perfect.
|
07-17-2007 Emily Garwood
beautiful really love is so complicated though and sometimes it's even fake when we think it's true the mind can be deceiving as love is blinding..you're description of how one can feel though is almost to accurate... well in my case of how i'd feel...hey everyone feels different lol keep it up and never give up.
Emy
|
05-22-2007 Cortney Jaruzel
Love can be a hard thing to find. One thing I don't like is when girls yearn for it, and grab the first thing they can find. That's just wanting male attention. But love... love is so different. Sometimes I'm not even sure if it's love. I think we all have that sometimes.. yet we asume because of such strong feelings. Nice job on this.
|
05-17-2007 Richard Reed Jr
This piece is truly awesome!
Again it shows the deep love and openness that abides within your heart and soul.
I wouldn't worry about love If I were you.
I would worry about your choice. You will have many pursuits.
Choose wisely.
Once again Bravo for such a moving poem.
This is one I will read often and hold dear to my heart.
Most fondly,
Richard
|
04-13-2007 Chris A.
that was so sad....
|
04-07-2007 Jordan Screws
Greetings Antha! Did you think I had forgotten about you? As I said much earlier, I have term papers to type and tests to study for, so I may not be able to comment right away. Now that I have a bit of time, I have come to make comments! But enough about me... where to begin on this poem?
Once more, I have caught the late train... the others before me have taken most of the compliments and criticisms that I could have said, so I will try and come up with new ones. As far as compliments go, I like the way you make love seem like a spiritual journey. I say that because love, like religious enlightenment, is a journey deep within one's inner self as well as a journey through the physical world. As far as meaningful criticism, I share Mehrina's belief that maybe this poem was a bit too short.
However, length is not everything, as your masterful poem shows. The mechanics of the work are well done, and the word choice is good. I also like the overall theme of love and seeking it. Since everyone else covered everything else, I will leave my comment at this and tell you: keep
up the good work!
Jordan of the CC
|
04-06-2007 Mehrina B.
Wow! Resounding! You wrote a very, very good poem here! Most of the time, I'm more favorable of long poems; they seem to have more depth a lot of the time. But your poem here, t'is wonderful! It's simple, but meaningful!
There were no grammar or spelling mistakes, and frankly, I'm very impressed. There's only one thing I think can use improvement, and that's the title. Does it Exist? It doesn't encompass your expressions here; I suggest something more deep. The last line would do great, too. "I Will Find You"; it's strong, and it's symbolic too!
All in all, this is a fantastic poem. Be proud!
Her Wisdom
~*Athena*~
Of the CC
|
|
Visitor
Reads: 309
Total Reads: 362
Comments: 10
Author's Page
Email the Author
Add a Comment
Favorite of:
|
|
Welcome !
