All My Best
by
Jerry Lowery
(Age: 46)
copyright 05-06-2007
Age Rating: 7 to 127
At this moment I try to remember how I
used to be, young, idealistic and headstrong.
All my thoughts hopes and dreams were centered
around me. While I thought I was giving life
the best that I had to offer, I now realize that
all my best was just to satisfy me.
Later as I grew older and only slightly wiser
I did what everyone thought I should do. I
danced to their music, and put on a smile that
seemed real to others for so long that it began to
feel real to me. I grew in social circles, said
the right words, met the right people, made all
the right moves. Yet life was not as full as I
thought it should be, that was because
all my best was just to satisfy them.
Now the dance has become more complicated, yet
I artfully keep in step. I know each move, each
pause, each turn. No longer do I worry about
who is watching, if I fall, or is the music just right.
I dance well because the music comes from my heart
and the rhythm from my soul. Because now I
know the secret.
All my best is still yet to come.
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Hi Jerry
This felt like being popped into your reflective mind for a little while, feeling your feelings, observing your thoughts.
I understood and identified with your experience, looking back at your process of balancing socializion and self realization. It's not easy growing up, and hopefully now we've got the answer, we'll use it and not slip back into automatic too often.
I saw this piece as a musing, not really a poem.
Which doesn't make it any less, just a different genre. Well said, clear, interesting, thought provoking.
I wish you'd not need to add a "happy ever after" ending. (Your last sentence "My best is still yet to come") No one is judging and it's obvious your transformed self is going to be richer, wiser, happier, dance wilder and more complicated steps.
I invite you to check out my new poems on my page and comment.
Thanks. Barbara
I liked this piece, but found myself waiting pensively for something other than a somewhat tentative ending - the philosophical mood set demanded a more powerful conclusion. The poem flowed pretty well and expressed your feelings well.
Hello;
I like this poem,but,found myself a bit disappointed in the ending.I am wracking my brain to explain. The ending just does not seem to truly be convincing. I suspect maturation and I cannot feel it has reached the level of sincerity that would convince me.I am not sure why this is so it may be that the same dance goes on at the end. The suggestion of being satisfied with yourself reminds me of the opening and it seems the person has gone back to his first-me,point of view. It is a very written poem and poems and people both have an aptitude for growing with time.
Best
Cindy Mitchell
Well, you certainly did get a lot of comments on this, and quickly too. Well anyway on one of your lines 'I know each move each
Pause each turn.' You need to seperate it with commas, so it should look like 'I know each move,each pause, each turn' I really enjoyed how you talked about being young, and all the dreams. But in sailor moon, we dont lose our dreams, we make more, and as life goes on it should get more magical not less. I have been thru the stereo type thing. To me it is ridiculous. I started being an individual at the age of 2, and you cant just hide what natural gifts you where born with =P (or being dropped on your head has caused)
I have read everyones comments and I dont exactly agree. Some people can't get the emotion out of some poems because its just not there for them. However I think this poem was beautiful and I got it and it made me soar. Also the fact that you cant write about what hasnt happened. Life is an ongioing process and ya....
Im probably rambling again. So over all every1 else has pointed out your errors (i think im not the brightest crayon in the box) and i gave you the error i thought needs to be changed. This was a really good poem, and you are a wonderful writer
Antha
Welcome !
