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Vivya Cristina
Kazu Siro
2 Free Members

2 Members
26 Guests

Just A Game
by Sarah B. (Age: 14)
copyright 04-02-2007


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
I try to pretend,
that I don't
need you.

I try to pretend,
that I'm not
broken.

But my feelings,
are too hard to
hide.

I could run away,
and never
return.

Obviously you don't
care about me.

To you,

Love is just a game.


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06-11-2007 Alma H.    

Harsh, deep, moving. It seems you got a few heartbreaks. It's hard to part with someone. It always seems to be the boys that want you as arm candy than the girls wanting them as arm candy. They play your heart around like it was toy and then lure you into a trap. Wham! You're trapped into their cage of hurt, thier little hamster wheel they just throw around. Well, that was a little scary. Really good. Hope to read more. Talk to you later.
~Alma H.
04-03-2007 Frank Fields    

For such a short write, this has a good impact on the reader. Me, anyway. Until I get to that last word. Maybe I'm being overly critical, but I really don't see any added value in that kind of treatment. Your work doesn't need it. It is powerful enough without trying to shock the reader into submission. But, yes, keep writing.

William:)
Member of


04-03-2007 Leigh G.    

Very interesting! I can agree with the topic, since I'm very sour about all love and romance, so I could agree that too many people find love to just be a game, and to a person who finds it to be more than just that, will always end up hurt in the end. Although I feel that your paragraphs could be one line, that's my only real flow pick. Your choice of words was simple, but I enjoyed this short poem! Running away and pretending are easy ways of doing solving problems, this kinda reminds me of the poem I just submitted yesterday, "Just Keep It A Secret". Good work, keep writing!


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