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Maybe.... Someday
by
Alma H.
(Age: 15)
copyright 04-08-2007
Age Rating: 7 to 127
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Maybe someday, I'll be big.
Someday, I'll be small.
I may be happy,
I may be depressed.
Maybe someday, all life will have meaning.
Someday, kids will behave.
It may be wonderful,
It may be terrifying.
Maybe someday, things will end,
Someday, things will bend.
They may be done already,
They may be unexplainable.
Maybe someday, things will happen.
Someday, but not today.
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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03-23-2008 Jordan Screws
Ah, the uncertainty of life! One day you think you will do something or something will go your way, and on other days everything seems to go awry. Whenever the latter happens, people usually say "Today's not my day..." or something to that effect. Many people wonder when that day will come, IF it ever does. Your poem seems to capture that uncertainty.
Like the others before me said, this poem is amusing in its own way. Nothing seems to go right for the narrator, and while it is usually poor form to laugh at the misery of others, it makes the rest of us feel better knowing someone out there is in the same predicament. Happily for all involved, the predicament is not life-threatening, though it does leave them anxious about the future. Like Samantha H. said, your poem has a certain free, relaxed flow to it that is hard for me to describe. However, it seems to fit the leisurely nature of the work, which is good.
Everyone before me took any valid criticism out of my mouth, so let me conclude by congratulating you. This is a good poem, and I hope to read more of your work.
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12-28-2007 Richard Reed Jr
The writing in this piece definitely shows a poet of much imagination. Technically the piece is well-written.
It's most entertaining. It's short and sweet and to the point, but says so much.
Thanks for sharing,
~Rich
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06-01-2007 Wayne Thomas
My grandmother was a New Englander and as such was always fond of the saying "not in my lifetime", "not today." My belief is that it's going to come in somebody's lifetime--how can we be so sure it's not ours? Because we're card carrying pessimists--esp. us Yankees--and sometimes we really think we don't want the change. You set me to thinking, an earmark of a wonderful poem. Thanks.
Wayne
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05-21-2007 Sam Hackel-Butt
I like the loose rhyming with this! You never know when it will rhyme, but when it doesn't, it isn't disappointing in the least, it's kinda exciting. I agree, it's like abstract ideas pulled together. I do like how it's vague, to let the reader's mind wander through his or her own thoughts, and put their own experiences, memories, and such in the poem.
I do suggest removing the 'I don't know....' at the end :) You may not know, but the piece is a success!
-Sam
Of the CC
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05-14-2007 Leigh G.
Heh, I liked this piece. Wondering and thinking about the future is something very important, but it can also drive somebody insane if they dwell too much on the double-edged sword that is the future. I try to plan my future, but a the same time try not to dwell on drawbacks. That's mainly because I spend so much time alone, so I have more than enough time to think. The side-effect of that is thinking too much, and having those thoughts melt into worries. Arg, randomness and ramblings! Good work, like Euna said you pulled some abstract ideas together to form a poem. Good work, keep writing.
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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04-11-2007 David Pekrul
At age 14 the world must seem a big, scary place. There are so my 'what ifs' out there. You have expressed the wonderment and fear very nicely.
I found one spelling error, (unexlpaninable), I think you meant 'unexplainable'.
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04-09-2007 Euna P.
Nice! You have wound up a bunch of cool abstract themes into one poem very nicely! I like it! Your rhythm and flow are very smooth and easy to follow, and I really like the last line. It sums everything up. Nice job.
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