Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
by
Mehrina B.
(Age: 13)
copyright 04-18-2007
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
Who cannot look beyond one’s face,
Engrossed in a study of the surface?
When there is so much to know and see,
How can I forfeit all I have to achieve?
Surely,
My mirror shows all but me.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the brightest of them all?
Who loves all there is to be,
Regardless of life’s cruelty?
As thankless as I am for what I have,
How can I truly smile and laugh?
Surely,
My mirror shows all but me.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the strongest of them all?
Who can weather any storm,
Surrounded with love or all alone?
By nature, my heart is weak,
My will, I have yet to seek.
Surely,
My mirror shows all but me.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the bleakest of them all?
Who has given up before the start,
Or slowly, but so surely, lost heart?
What choice do I have but to finish the race,
Or end it now to save me face?
Surely,
My mirror shows all but me.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the loneliest of them all?
Who has no eyes to see their way,
No friends to help them through the day.
No home to go to at a long suffering’s end,
No one to stretch out a helping hand.
I’m lonely, I’m tired, and it’s too dark to see,
I’m drowning in a sea of my memories.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, won’t you show myself at all?
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you recommend or rate the work highly...
Amazing! I love it! Nice rhyme scheme, overall amazing poem. It reminds me of Nehelania. Love it! It's a good length, too, which is more than I can say about my poems.
Erbarley!
Meg C. (or call me Mina!)
Wow! Excellent poem! I love the way you take the words from a famous fairytale saying and turn it into such a sad and deep story. The flow and rhyming was nearly flawless, and I was simply drawn into it. Of course, there is always room to get better at what you're good at, but this poem is excellent! Keep up the good work.
~Brittney~
Meh, I gotta hand it to you, I have definately missed your poetry. I love the rhyming pattern, and the poem flowed nicely. I also like how you ended every stanza the same. I agree with what you're saying, too. Mirrors seem not to show who we really are. I know when people just look at me they see someone completely different, and that probably happens to everyone. Though, I must admit, sometimes I end up judging people too...
The mirror is such a powerful image not only in writing, but in film as well, and it's clear to see why. Throughout the days, we don't look at ourselves; other people look at us. Gazing into a mirror is the only time we get to "reflect" at how we let ourselves be seen to the world. We gussy up, we use make up and jewelry to detract or accentuate certain features not to make ourselves more pleasing to ourselves, but to others. In a sense, yes. Mirrors DON'T show who we are. They show the image we created for other people.
As Sparkles jokes with me... why do people really care what they look like? WE'RE the ones stuck looking at them :p
Very beautiful in a haunting sort of way. It gets to the heart of life and touches all of us.
Your ideas are all great. That's what I like best about your poems. There is a freshness -an originality to all of them.
This was a very intense poem. People seem to think of themselves as not good enough to love themselves. I have my ups and downs on days where I hate myself and everyone around me. Also, people get jealous at their own friends for something that happened a day before or a year before. It seems you either feel this way or someone else you know feels this way and you want to show them their really aren't alone. Your rhyming technique was totally together; no points where it might have been forced. I noticed you used 'surely' a lot. Just noticing. Talk to you later.
~Alma H.
Wow meh- I liked this one! It was very original and unique by adding that extra twist to the common "mirror, mirror" theme. Great detail. Don't worry- your very bright (think of all the long book you read- I could never do that). And you rhymed! You are getting better at rhyming with practice. If you want to improve, i would try to make it rhyme a bit better. Anyway, great job!
I liked this. Very much! Appealed to my sense of the sublime with a slight twist at the end. It began nicely, maintained a good progression, and had a definite ending. (Some of the things I like to see!) The structure, the formatting, texture, all very good. Along with subtle use of imagery that made me look into the mirror beyond myself. I really liked that! Anything could be improved, most like. But if I were to do that here, it would be like picking a well-crafted work apart to see what kind of glue was used. I'd rather just enjoy the write for it's subtleties, nuances, and for allowing me to actually show me myself. LOL
I agree with Leigh, this is quite original. It goes to show that what we see on the outside is just superficial; the real person is on the inside. The poem flows nicely and is easy to read.
I did find one error, I think. "Or end it now to save me (should this be 'my face'?) face?
Very nice, Meh! The "mirror, mirror" idea at first seemed a little strange to me, and had been done too many times...but by the end of the poem the "mirror, mirror" idea became original and well-used! I also liked how you altered the first like with each different aspect, giving another level of depth. And I'm multitasking and have been working on this comment for fifteen minutes...XD Okay! Unsurprisingly, no grammar/spelling errors or even awkward sentences. Great to have you submitting, Meh! It's been quite a while since you last graced PnP with a poem! At least summer is coming up...thank god! So, liking Into The Light? :D Great work, Meh! Keep it coming!
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