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Ghost of a Man
by
Sam Hackel-Butt
(Age: 19)
copyright 04-19-2007
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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Just a ghost of a man surviving outside of reality, feeding on the desires and fears of the ordinary person with an unordinary need to feel the warmth of love and the open arms of a friend. He’ll transcend time and be remembered better than the men who died with honor with the wishes of survival on their necks and strength in their own breath, urging towards the finish line of this stiff-legged race. Time is passing but the wounds stay fresh, bathed in salt and gnawed on by the imps of remembrance who dare not free us from this sweeping insensitivity we try to call life. Down he trots, down he stumbles, it’s just out of reach, it’s flowing with the current while he fights it, unable to see through the fog of deceit and lies so thickly poured.
Just a ghost of a man surviving on the fears and desires of the extraordinary person who walks with their heads bowed against the ordinary, watching the shine of their shoes and the tint of the sidewalk change from many shades of gray. He makes no eye contact, as he slithers after them, smelling their cologne and the stink of success that’s almost over whelming. ‘They need to take a bath,’ he thinks. ‘They need to bathe in mortality.’ To taste the wine of the gas station hut and fast food uniform, to drink and grimace at the wine of the homeless who sees humanity for what they really are. Fibbers who sleep on mattresses which untruths bought them, selfish beasts that scrape their nails across the glassy surface of compassion and piss in the wells of nurturing.
Just a ghost of a man surviving on the scraps of insanity left behind by those before him, scrounging below the scum of the earth, lusting for a taste of moon-light, which hides his scarred hide from those scraping nails and fibbing lunatics who remain constant throughout the ages. Nothing can diminish the storm of humanity, nothing can end the misery and suffering, but the ghost of a man, who lost control when the world cast their shadow on each other, baring a cold shoulder and a face of disgust, who craves understanding, could show them. He could show them, remove the wool from their eyes, lick them clean then pierce them with the integrity of his convictions.
Just a ghost of a man surviving outside of reality, inside insanity, wishing for abnormality in the hectic life of certainty.
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12-28-2007 Dori D.
hmmm.. i like the imagery, you just smell the distastefulness of them all... i read one of the comments and it says it was about the virginia shooter... hmm i didnt get that from what you wrote... it just sounds like a man who is lost within the world he hates but loves... whatever it was inspired by i loved it... it has such a morbid beauty to it...^-^
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10-22-2007 Walter Jones
A question of consequence, vivid is the reporter, hard is the voice to defend, reach as Noah Webster would have in quotation to the devil in Scratch's attack at the soul or Milton wanting more than a paradise to escape from, human reality in point and counter point, a cruel yet real sound, the verse is a live, you are a good reporter.. Walt
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04-26-2007 Frank Fields
Point and counter-point. Vivid texture and imagery depicting that most difficult of all things to capture: an emotion. How much more difficult to capture the emotional imbalance of insanity which has the subject wishing for an abnormal life to be more sane than the insane world of his knowledge of certainty. Virginia shooter? Yes, but beyond, I think, far beyond.
This write had my head spinning and reeling and going back to flavor anew the tastes of the banquet you laid before us. But, somehow, not evoking a sympathetic response for the creature which you created. Intentionally done, also, I think. Is very dark and disturbing on many levels, but for those reasons, is very good. Some technicals: for the strength of the other words to use "fib" and "fibbing" instead of "lie" and "lying" seems juvenile. There is an agreement problem in the beginning of the 2nd paragraph. Should it be "his head," instead? And finally, the "salty pen," LOL will consider that "over whelming" is one word, not two and finally, finally I'm not sure abut the word "piss" for the age range. Or for the write. I understand your meaning, but it seems oddly out of place. Enough, now. I liked it and it'll remind me not to lose my way.
William :
of
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04-19-2007 Leigh G.
非常に、Sami 興味深い! 私はこれを好んだ; 非常に... 思考実施し、通う
Very interesting, Sami! I liked this; very thought-invoking and haunting...
So, this is about the Virginia shooter, eh? Personally, although I'm cold-hearted, and these were innocent students not soldiers sent to their deaths, 30 civilians in Iraq are killed in a few days... Anyway, you had vivid descriptions and a haunting way of writing in this piece. I didn't find any grammar or spelling errors, but you did have a few long sentences. Nothing serious though. :) I liked this piece; very dark and makes the reader think. Sorry for such a short comment, must go.
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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