Prose-n-Poetry.com
Original Poetry and Stories
Our Midi Musicbox *
Register
Login
Password
Save Cookie?  
Forgot Password?




Watching

by Leigh Gilholm Fisher
copyright 05-09-2007


Age Rating: 10 +

Watching the world go by
Nobody will look me in the eye
Tomorrow another hope will die,
I wonder who and why

As today fades away
I wonder if there will ever be a world my life isn't in disarray
Who knows?
Maybe there will be a day...
I won't have shadows following me

I've grown so familiar with these surroundings
Even when the seasons change, nothing new really happens
I know there's a lot beyond here
And that I'll see it one day,
But who's to say
I'll be able to live my life another way?

I'm trapped in this world of ever repeating things
I want to be hopeful again,
I want to be able to focus on my goals again,
But I can't change my world as easily as you may think

You pull me down,
And then you say I'm not supposed to worry
You are more of a liar
Than the one I often find myself writing about
I long to be away from you two,
But I don't want to be used
Yet I always get so lonesome when I spend too much time alone
Is there realistically any hope,
For a person with such opaque ideals?

Will I ever get away?
Or will you suck all the hope from me?
Sure, I've got my goals...
But what can I really do?

Watching the world go by
But I'm not really there to take part in their lives
Nobody will look me in the eye
Maybe they don't see me at all
Tomorrow another hope will die,
To join my hopes in oblivion
I wonder who and why

Maybe one day I'll be part of the world going by
But until then, I'm just a watcher
Hidden where nobody can see me
I wonder why nobody seems to understand me
Maybe the silence I've been forced into, is really what's my demise






Visitor Reads: 992
Total Reads: 1012
Comments:

Author's Page
Email the Author
Add a Comment






Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page

        06-11-2007     Brittney N. Nasca        

Very nice. This was a very well written work. Very deep and well thought out. However, the nice flow you had going at the beginning faded away, and I think those longer lines could be shorter then that. Also in the line, "I long to be away from you two," did you mean 2 or too as in also? Other then those small little tweaks this was a very good piece of work. Keep at it.
~Brittney~

        05-15-2007     Samantha Powers        

This wants to make me cry
It was beautiful but reminds me of my life......
I really love how you sort of rhymed and also the format of your stanzas. Also i dont know if u did this on purpose but i see a little bit of symbolism.
I didnt see any errors, but really i was looking at your motion, becuz it suddenly became my own.
It often confuses me why people dont ever understand me and why everything can feel so lonely that you feel invisible. but you know what they say god gave us 2 ears and one mouth so we would hear 2ce as much as we talk


        05-11-2007     Mehrina Asif        

How can I keep thinking of the *words* to describe my reaction???

You're too good a writer, Leigh. -.- We did agree you were a show-off, didn't we? :p

This is just awesome! Some of the lines you've got here are just... amazing. "Is there realistically any hope for a person with such opaque ideals?"

I'm not quite sure how to answer the questions you pose here. I don't think I'll ever be able to, unless you wish to hear the answer that I really believe in.

Follow your heart. There is always an answer in the heart; you just have to find it. Whether it take one good soul-searching session, or years; it's all worth it. It's always worth it to keep doing what you know is right. Remember! The brain may think, but the heart knows.

You've played FFX. Remember that part, "Where there's a will, there's a way"? Well, that should stick to you like it did to Tidus! Why? Because it's true! This world is nothing but a collection of wills and empowerment. Enforce your will and things will work out; find your will first, though!

If there is one fault in this poem, it's that many of the rhymes sounded painfully forced. Not natural like your recent ones. But that indicates that you were seriously thinking when you wrote this! If that's a good thing or bad; you ask yourself! But keep my advice in mind; it's never failed anyone who's come to me for help yet.

Your BFFE!
~*Meh*~
Of...

        05-11-2007     Frank Fields        

Wayne did the first comment "thing," and the "first dance" thing has been pre-claimed, so what's left for me? LOL Maybe being "hidden" isn't a bad place to be. Certainly one is less vulnerable, there--or should be. But if by being hidden then goals and dreams and ambitions are not allowed fruition, then yes, that is not a good thing. This piece speaks so sadly about the futility of even trying, it is almost tearful.. Especially because you portrayed a very subtle, a very quiet picture of lost dreams and hopes before they could even become birthed. A very good write about a very difficult subject. ^^

William :)

of

        05-10-2007     Wayne Thomas        

Hey! First comment! It's tough feeling suffocated in a world not of your choosing and not being able to find a way out. Sometimes the way is obvious and easy, but all too often we put too much in the way of seeing. This is a good one. Made me think, even if old dullard here missed the point a tad. Sometimes in my poems I'm not aware or fully intending of making a particular, but then someone makes a comment and I say, "Oh yeah!" Let's keep on truckin', shall we? Good work! My best, Wayne



left curlique right curlique
About PnP Privacy Points Terms of Service Banners Contact Us F.A.Q
Visitors