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The Walk
by
Frank Fields
copyright 05-14-2007
Age Rating: 7 to 127
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Picture Credits: http://www.elfwood.com
On a hot and humid day, one afternoon in Panama, a friend and I thought we'd go down to the beach. We were in a little, interior resort town called Santa Clara.
We, of course, had liquid fortifications to help pass the tranquil boredom of an unending stretch of sparkling white sand, the tropical sun warming us, and the rhythm of the waves that came lapping in from the ocean to tell us hello.
It seemed like no time at all had passed before it became dark. With the darkness came the magick of a full moon night, a canopy of stars unhidden by any clouds, a gentle breeze, and the sounds of the waves softly scolding the shore.
We thought it would be a good idea to walk along the shoreline for awhile. Also, I had a wine skin that my younger brother had sent to me from Spain. Naturally, it was filled with a good, red wine. Well supplied, then, for a walk along the sand, we started off. No real destination in mind, simply to enjoy the walk, the wine, the night and all it's magic wonder, and the friendship.
We walked for some time. Time, itself, seemed suspended. The entire scene had taken on the surreal beauty of a poet's imagination. The sky was black, save for the sparkling, crystal stars. The sand and sea were almost black--we couldn't really see them. But the sea stayed where it was, except for the surf's soft edge, coming in to kiss at our feet and tickle our toes.
Then, after some later time, it might have been minutes or hours, I began to feel a strange sensation. Not of anything that might cause harm, that might have been evil, or any of the hidden things that usually accompany the night on it's twelve-hour journey.
But I began to feel that we were being followed. And, thinking that, I remembered having felt that way all along. But, still, it was only a feeling. Nothing dark or dire, nothing forbidding or foreboding.
So I turned around to see what might be there. And, miracle of miracles, wonder of wonders, a magick marvel I beheld. Stretching back, so far back I couldn't see where it began, was a trail of my footprints in the sand. Each print was clearly shown, twinkling in the sand, as if some of the stars above had been captured and sprinkled into each print.
As I watched, beginning at the very start, the footprints began to slowly wink out, one by one. This took some time because there were so many and nothing on that night seemed in a hurry.
Finally, the ones at my very feet winked out, leaving the sand as it been--dark and faintly glistening from the moon and stars.
As the final print winked out, a gentle breeze stirred up, carrying the fragrance of the rose of love. And on that breeze, a soft, angel faerie's voice whispered in my ear,
"dear frank, a gift for you, from me."
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12-03-2007 Richard Reed Jr
Very surrealistic to my ears, like a peaceful dream painted with pastel colors. A bit mysterious. It's making me read over and over again and definitely keeps my attention.
Excellent work,
~Rich
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09-04-2007 Twila Casper
This is a beautiful poem. I'm new to the community so this is the first of your work Ive read and Id have to say I really enjoyed it. It makes me wonder about my life and how the past just seems to fade away much like your footsteps in the sand. It also reminds me that I need to keep moving forward instead of waiting for the past to catch up. There will be no future if you stop in the present. Thanks for your beautiful words.
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06-08-2007 Frank Fields
The friend didn't notice anything except the footprints. We both marveled at their appearance and, more, at their disappearance. The whisper, however, was meant for me, alone. He didn't hear anything as he was not intended to.
But you do raise an interesting question. Would the story have been more complete by bringing him into the end, since it did include him at the beginning?
It might have, but it also would have deviated from the wonder and the mystery of the whisper; which is where the story really ended.
For the curious, then, my friend and I walked back to the little resort town, spent a goodly hour or three with similar minded friends who didn't mind drinking a bit, dancing a bit more, and singing as good friends always will. ^_^
Frank :)
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06-06-2007 Sam Hackel-Butt
Simply Magical ;)
I didn't read the original without the italics at the end, but it does fit nicely. Short and very sweet, I enjoyed this like I do the other works of yours I've read so far! I've always been amazed at my own footprints, though the ones I leave are in snow. I enjoy being the first one to march on the virgin snow, to leave my impression first. The second thought that usually comes into my head after walking a distance and looking back is ALWAYS, 'JEEZ! My feet are big!' LOL. Gotta love big clunky boots. What's also so magical, is light snow falling just after the sun sets. The street lamps make it look like glitter. It's simply breathtaking. One of the few good reasons to living in Quebec. That, and the hockey. If I liked hockey... oh well!
The picture is very fitting for the piece. Elfwood! I haven't browsed there in such a while! I made accounts in all 3 area, but haven't checked up on them in ages. It's just a reminder of how... amateurish I was, so I moved onto DeviantArt, which is so much nicer, and holds my newer-ish pieces. The halfmoon on the faerie's face reminds me of Sailor Moon :p
ANYWAY, I'm rambling again. I found nothing iffy or jumped out at me [in a bad way.] T'is perfect. I only have one thing... the friend of the narrator didn't notice anything?
-Sammeh
Of ze CC
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05-24-2007 Frank Fields
This work was edited only to change the last line. It was changed to be in italics which is the form preferred, as I have learned, by that faerie, to be representative of her speech. ^_~
William :)
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05-24-2007 April R.
I liked it, I'm not as picky as some people are. Oh and for the poem you commented for me, I understand where your coming from. I realized that I should have made it a story and not a poem, I also realized that I should have capitalized all my "i" and put it into separate paragraphs. I thank you for helping me point the problems out, in the future I will keep all you pointed out in mind. Thanks again ^_~
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05-16-2007 Leigh G.
Very interesting...vivid deceptions so I could picture the events easily, and the sentiment was charming but, in a way, there's wasn't much of a story going on. Yes...I'm picky... It was a beautiful short story, but it lacked a full story line, you know? Eh, I'm not making much sense! :) Anyway, I enjoyed reading this and I'm glad you're submitting more stories. You read one of my more recent fantasies, Into The Light, so you have the idea of what kind of works I do. :) Oh, and thank you for that comment. I'll probably submit a part two once I get a few more pages. Good work, keep writing.
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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05-15-2007 Frank Fields
In a convoluted way, it symbolizes an actual experience from many years ago, but which because of recent events, has brought that past clearly into focus in the present.
William :)
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05-15-2007 Riona Evers
The one phrase I've said after reading this story was simply and purely: "aww.." accompanied by a sigh. How breathtaking you are with words, William. Your descriptions of the environment are without a doubt, magnificent. I felt as though, I was accompanying you along the beach. This piece seems to tell many, but the one that caught my attetion the most was the "footprints". a gift from Lady Sarah, of course, but does it symbolize 'past'?
Nevertheless, a grand writing this is, William ^^
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