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Whispers
by
Frank Fields
copyright 05-23-2007
Age Rating: 13 to 127
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Picture Credits: Banshees Unltd.
When I wonder 'bout the whispers,
Whether they will come again,
I spy a ghastly shadow shape
That silently slides by.
With wailing woe, the Banshee cries,
Thy soul is mine, I'll have it now
Ere comes the dawn and safety clear,
Be not coward, I'd hold thee in mine arms.
To witness mine own love for thee,
The lore of Hell's own devils,
To suck thy soul so dry unto it's marrow,
And of vestige human 'pon thy trod so narrow.
Along the sands of time with an
Immortal pretense of thy fate,
Thinking of the morrow being today,
Yet ever onward is thy foolish walk.
My cry ignored, my warning put aside
As useless drivel on flotsam tide,
While these dreams of thine,
Thee would make real.
Ever and often so we've met,
Each time my wailing woe
Of Banshee cry ignored,
Thy dreams must stand.
And as ye stand, victor in this tryst,
Know my wail will still come true.
As mortal man, ye cannot win,
This battle for immortality
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01-18-2008 Chelsea Armstrong
Yet again another's words have sought to fill my fancy. I am a sucker for writings such as these, for too often they are facts that our hearts speak for us. At some point or another, one will wish to be immortal, to share the eternity with the stars, but how? How will we survive and eon of loneliness in the nothingness between the living and the ethereal planes?
Very well done Frank, beautiful piece.
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06-30-2007 Leigh G.
Very nice! This has nice flow, no snags, and a very haunting topic. Your ideas were good, and your portrayed you meaning very well. No lines that didn't follow the idea of the poem either. I've been reading some poems recently that had some lines in them that were rather random...
The others have pretty much said what I normally would! I do like the picture though. :) It accents the poem nicely. No grammatical errors or capitalization errors. Good work, keep writing!
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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06-07-2007 Walter Jones
It is as if I was reading my self at best, great write, better than most I read and value, special the sound, and feelings, eye grabbing, words hold and hang, a full use of all the tools, great write.. Walt
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05-24-2007 Riona Evers
Oh I absolutely love this piece... The words gave me a chill down my back, yet I was strangely aroused by the dark and gloomy phrases. As I am an admirer of poignant poems, I rank "Whispers" on the top of my list. Not only does this piece chillingly appease the readers' hearts, but it also gives an expression of irony; the last stanza: "As mortal man, ye cannot win," seems to illustrate a meaningless triumph.
The seven verses are another beauty to this poem; simple yet significant sentences that conveys out the poet's "dark-side" (if I may). The use of "Thy" and "Ye" was also alluring to me. It is as though a Medieval, supernatural-creature (Banshee as it was mentioned) was actually speaking to the audience.
Bravo, William ^^
(The picture looks really sinister XD)
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