Finding Hope
by
Debra Rose
(Age: 21)
copyright 06-06-2007
Age Rating: 16 to 127
The words spill
forth, like water from
a pitcher held
in an unsteady hand.
"I'm an addict."
Little over two
years clean, but that
doesn't decrease the quality
or strength of the
addiction...
...the potency with which I
miss the ritualistic
qualities
involved with getting high.
Like a faithful Catholic
at Sunday mass;
I'd submit myself before the
altar of my
pipe.
I'd inhale the body
of my Christ--
I'd melt the blood
of his form.
I'd taste the way the corrupted
visage of the savior
was cleverly intwined
in the speed.
She stares at me,
and I should be somehow
ashamed of my
confession,
but instead, it's like
a weight off my shoulders.
A dam breaking behind my eyes.
To simply speak of the
struggle--
the lack of sleep,
the hallucinations,
the insecurities--
is like a gasp of air
after drowning for the past
years of swimming
against the riptide
current
of sobriety.
To admit the words that I,
while no longer using,
still dream of it
still think of it,
still taste it--
am still addicted to it,
is like seeing the light in the tunnel
I thought had closed.
And for once
in years,
I think I've found hope.
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It has been a long time. As usual your writing is very blunt and picturesque. Good to here that hope has entered your life. It is a great feeling to be able to lean upon it, whatever that my be. Good write.
I've read this so many times. And each time, but even stronger than before, your greater strength and courage showed through. Would that my son had the courage to do what you have done. It is a grand triumph, a greater victory, to look the Beast in his own eye, in his own lair, and walk away having bested him. In every way. I think, that with this write, you are showing me if none other, but mostly yourself, that your fine talent and skills are returned to you.
A very special poem indeed! And so flawlessly executed! If this is a confession my prayers are with you. If it's all fiction, it's still magic. I hope it does many people some good and spreads some hope out there. Beautiful.
As always,
Wayne
You are as special as the first day I meet your poetry, and this your will in words is just an add to the gift, you grow and share, beat the beast, write and vow, stay more than strong, stay clean, my prayers as always, a friend...Walt
Wow, thats amazing! I really felt that. And I can up myself in that situation, however with alcohol. I understand what it feels like admitting "I'm an alcoholic". I'll always be one I guess. But God is stronger. He keeps me sober. Its a daily struggle, but I to, have found hope. Hope is one of the main ingredients to keeping your sanity from the insanity.
May God bless you!
Welcome !
