Cry No More
by
Brittney N. N.
(Age: 17)
copyright 06-20-2007
Age Rating: 13 to 127
I've broken your heart.
I've ripped out your soul.
I'm not worth your tears.
Just let me go.
Everyday,
I see your face.
I see your sadness,
and walk away.
You want to follow,
but you're too hurt.
You want my comfort,
but I only burn.
I've broken your heart.
I've ripped out your soul.
I'm not worth your tears.
Just let me go.
Every night,
I know you cry.
You cut yourself,
you want to die.
You think of being,
without my face.
So you stop the bleeding,
but with no haste.
I've broken your heart.
I've ripped out your soul.
I'm not worth your tears.
Just let me go.
Then one day,
you stop crying.
You still feel sad,
but not like dying.
You sit in school,
and talk with your friends.
I guess this is it.
It's finally the end.
I broke your heart.
I ripped out your soul.
You've stopped crying.
You've let me go.
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you recommend or rate the work highly...
this totally reminds me of a couple of my freidns relationships altho they never seem to get completely over it but they act that way for the other persons sake and their own. i love how you made it so some of the phrases kept repeating that reall brings out the meaning and i didnt see any errors.
overall this ahppens in a lot of relationships and peopel get over it and they move on
this is a really good piece kind of sad
i really thought the age ratign was appropriate because it had some pretty violent stuff in it
i cant wait to read more of your work
keep up the wonderful work
and btw great detail
antha
hi brittney.
i like the music in this piece. it is comforting as a reader to be in your safe, controlled masterful hand that is leading me through the pain, through the chaos and hurt and slowly taking me to relief and freedom.
the poem flows very well. it is as simple in rhythm as a nursery rhyme.
i enjoyed it thoroughly
barbara
And now, it's an excellent write. You took it to the next level. Removed it from the ordinary and gave it a proper seat with the extraordinary. Still simple, still not overpowering, but for all of that and because of that, it reads more powerfully now, than if you had tried to give it a new coat of paint. The 1st, 3rd, and 5th stanzas repeating add emphasis. The 2nd and 4th stanzas develop it and provide a progression. The last stanza definitely ends it, and allows us to look at a possibly hidden meaning: that you are the one who is hurt, not him. That it is really yourself you're talking about and not someone else. Maybe. We're left with that little doubt that adds a dimension, a layer to this poem that was only hinted at before. Now it has texture, movement, imagery, association, alliteration, and the other tools you've used to bring this about to be well worth reading. It deserves another rating. ^_^
Welcome !
