A Crippled Write
Age Rating: 16 +
Warning for mature young adults
I attended a play that was done in a format similar to this, basic premise, this is a book about a play that is being performed, it is done in a Greek drama format, where actors do not talk, you hear voices, in some cases, speeches, and a director will stop out in front of the audience and give what would seem to be stage direction, I am working this, basically a book being written by author who is dead, a daughter who was abused by her mothers tricks, and is defending her mother for the murder. This is just one act...
Stripped naked on a mattress, kneeling, across her back, in red letters, father, mother, lovers, real and dead.
Time makes its way to passion felt heart and soul triggered into graves waiting names and places yet to be determined, who measures statue, who bleeds the soul dry, who works the body for gain, who owns the needles, pleasure an the pain, who comes for me, I am so alone
In the sweet of me I see all the close friends have gather to take a turn, my body their pleasure, my heart in shame, nothing ever escapes for free, all the ghosts of my mind
Gather about me to give and take their fill and I like an observer survive it all
Oh mother what have you done, gift of beauty tore into pieces of pictures in minds screaming. Passion met, souls burned, when is my turn, mother when is my turn to feel,
Father save me from the pit in which my mother lives, snakes and vipers surround yet
You free me, late but you free me
Why did you wait so long, come take what you need, it is all I have to give you, my body and mind.
Typewriter just clicks a sad lullaby
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Richard Reed Jr
Most unique and quite well-written. It does remind one of a modern day Greek Tragedy, although it could stand quite well as a contemporary piece.
I enjoyed this immensely.
Reminiscent, indeed, of at least what has been put together in the history books, and with which I have no quarrel. Also, brings visuals of experimental theatre, theatre in the round, reader's theatre, and even some of the ways the Master's works have been treated. Also, I see some of the Marquis de Sade working within. But as it stands, all by itself, without need for historical reference to validate it, but which information is very helpful, a strong and powerful presentation. Read aloud, as would be done on stage or in front of a listening audience, with the spot cutting away from director, to narrator, to the primaries, and the secondaries, or as would have been done on ancient stage, by characters only moving when speaking or being presented by a director or narrator, this is a very compelling tale of horror and love so inter-twined, that without the one, the other would not be. For the modern world, your writing gives proof to the knowledge that one's emotions and thoughts can be shaped as the author desires, without any use of vulgarisms or profanities to create the shock and impact this piece achieves.
But, as a good copy editor, I must point out that there is one word up there, which I think was meant to be "and" but which, like a spoiled child, refused to obey, and decided to make itself be seen as "an."
I apologize that I didn't make note of where that child was standing, being more eager, instead, to pen impressions of real value.
Benchmarks are difficult things to live with, for they then become the expectation. Still in all....
Brittney N. Nasca
Very haunting. I like it. The flow is a bit rough making it a bit odd to read, but still a very good write. A very intelligent description of such a terrible scene. Very powerful. Keep it up ^_^