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Lips can cry. Just as they can quiver and tremble, and pucker, and so on. Just because they cannot actually shed tears, doesn't remove them from being used in a poetic sense.
Imagine, if you will, lips that are uncontrollably trembling and quivering from whatever sadness that caused the tears to flow. And that only a soft caress would still them and make them quiet and gentle, once again.
A heart can't sing.
Tears have no real joy or sadness. They are tears.
A sunrise or a sunset can't really call to me. They have no voice.
The wind can't tell of life and death. It merely blows.
The "critic's salty pen," is not really salty, nor hungry. It is just a tool.
Just as a leather pouch cannot be hungry to be filled.
This was on the short side, but that didn't bother me. The flow was great, and the way you presented and conveyed your feelings was top-notch but I have one big pick:
To soft caress my crying lips.
To me, this just sounds weird. The fast that you're talking about 'tears' and while a person can 'cry' in the sense of 'crying for help' the line just sounds a little odd to me. Heh, I just noticed you had a few other mentions of that. XD Sorry.
Either way, this poem was short and sweet. I'm off to read you other poem, which has a really interesting title to me!
Indeed, you uphold the title of Wordsmith. Very, very beautiful piece. Souls never truly miss someone, until that person vanishes from their lives. Then that soul realizes the yearning for the departed. It seems "Tears Of Love" was written from that very 'desire', if you will.
Many emotions embody these lines; lament, sorrow, sincerity, and of course, love. I see that rhyme decorates this piece well. When I first read this poem, I was reminded of Haikus; not only because of the structural conciseness, but because of how these simple lines can portray a great amount of sentiments and feelings. I think the last two lines of the poem really conveys out your heart Frank.
I must say, I think this piece is on the top three list of my favorite poems. Truly.
I thank you for sharing such a beautiful work of art, Frank. ^_^
I love the way it's written! It sounds so pretty. I don't have any qualms with this lovely piece. Putting an older-sounding English word (thee) in a poem always makes it sound prettier, in my opinion. :)
To soft caress my crying lips.
seemed improper for sum reason it didnt make sense to me
this poem was so short but hyet it still had a heeby jeeby effect on me or sumthing like that
it kind iof seemed sad from what i picked up
these kind of poems confuse me if i dont have experience
so let me guess
is it about you loving someone buit not knowing if their love is returned so you where sad because you thought someone didnt love you but they really did?
ya thats my guess
still i love your type of writing and your big fancy words
and even if what i guessed isnt what its about i still love it
=)
Antha
Welcome !
