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Deceiving The Mind

by Emily Garwood (Age: 27)
copyright 07-17-2007


Age Rating: 10 +

Deceiving the mind,
Is like saying you're blinded by love...
Only the other day,
I realized I was deceiving my own mind.

Now opening my eyes,
I'm torn and tattered,
And cut inside,
I'm so tired I just lay on the floor.

How could you,
Blind me with your love,
Your lies and mistakes,
I just couldn't see them.

What was I, a toy?
A plan in your twisted head?
Have you got what you want?
Or you still craving more?

I cry my tears of regret,
knowing I was to blind to see,
The missing pages in my fairytale book.
I wish you hadn't done this.

My mind seeks refuge,
But I'm to tired to try,
Maybe I should leave you,
Let you, and your shadow win.

She's been waiting a long time now,
And I was in the fight, blind to see.
She must be happy,
You must be happy.

I'm on the floor begging for no more,
My tears mean nothing,
And my blood even less,
true love....just wasn't made for me.

No longer can I deceive my mind,
For hypnotizing cannot work,
And the power of my mind even weaker,
I just lay on the floor praying you'll change.

Home sweet home; no longer.






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        10-17-2007     Walter Jones        

In voice a common theme of lingering too long, written in creativity upon self evaluation, found to be clever in form and word use, excellent.. Walt

        09-19-2007     Richard Reed Jr        

Another awesome dark love poem.
You are becoming quite good at these.
And I like this kind of poetry and your writing style.

I especially loved the ending.

Keep up the excellent work,

~Rich

        07-18-2007     Samantha Powers        

What was I a toy?
A plan in your twisted head?
Have you got what you want?
Or you still craving more?

lol this should be
What, was I a toy?
Or are you still craving more?

this sentence
Let you and your shadow win.
should be
Let you, and your shadow win.

She's been waiting alone time now,

i think this should be
She's been waiting a long time now,
or something is improper
And I was in the fight blind,
this is improper lol should be
And I was in the fight, and blind
or I was blind in the fight

ok lol i saw some more errors but....I'll like meail those to you or something i just pointed out the major ones.
lol ok now that thats done with
this was so beautiful but sad
it kind of reminds me of my poem but of course better
lol
usually i try not to make sense or something like that lol
you gave it so much detail and it makes you want to cry to think of all the times this has happened in in the world
great poem
i LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! it




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