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Eternal Fire
by
Samantha P.
(Age: 15)
copyright 07-22-2007
Age Rating: 1 to 127
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I've never seen far,
I've never seen near.
When vision was the last thing I had,
it failed.
People tell me I've been blessed, since I can still see.
I cherish my sight for as long as I can see;
however, When people point, and laugh
it doesn't seem like a blessing,
especially when people stop, and stare.
Crying has been the resolution of many lonely nights.
It's just my soft, mushy pillow,
and the scent of books, new or old.
While I caress the smooth pages I cuddle up and read.
All my tears,emotions,and fears subside when I'm alone,
and can see.
The only place I'm not ashamed is when I'm around family, and people I know.
We all pile around the campfire,
smothering our face with sticky marshmallow goo.
Everyones there, but I'm detached while I stare into the fire.
Glasses off, glasses on, I can see the flame clearly.
Fire lives to find more life,
and it's always flicking around.
Eventually the fire always burns out.
If we keep feeding the fire it's essential food,
such as dry, splintering wood,
fire will live on forever, and will always radiate heat.
I now know I am like a fire,
I burn inside, and am made of heat.
It doesn't matter what I look like, as long as I can see.
At school they call me Samantha,
The chick with the glasses.
From now on I really don't care.
I'm glad I can see, so go ahead, stop, and stare.
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12-19-2007 Rikki V.
Despite the fact that i have no glasses, nor have i ever, this is exactly what i was like before you found me. I felt like there must have been something wrong with me because Jess had been almost my only friend since 4th grade when Ilana moved away. then you come along...and the rest, as they say, is ... CHAOS!
wait, what? lol, but truly, books were a sacred and hollowed thing, and still are, but now i have real friends to talk about them with! and any people who's life is still like this, cheer up! there are people out there like you, or who used to be like you, and we're her to help!
I love you Sammy-san!
Rikki
P.S. "It's amazing what caboose will do if you promise him a cookie and a glass of orange juice!"
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11-13-2007 Richard Reed Jr
I came back to read this again since it is clearly a favorite of mine.
This has so many beautiful and haunting phrases.
This poem really points out your talents and shows us that you truly do have a gift.
You honor us here with your writing.
~hands her a single red rose~
~Rich
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08-29-2007 Wayne Thomas
I love this poem. I've been a bespectacled bookworm geek since second grade, not all that great in the looks department, and this just moved me to tears. When I was growing up, a book was my salvation on many a lonely night as I wasn't allowed aa radio since I might listen to--gasp!--rock-n-roll! (And I would have, too!) A splendid write, Samantha. Keep feeding the fire. And I hope the girl (was it in a comment?) gets her glasses soon. Has to be, 'cos the girl in the story already wears the cussed things. Such a great write. Keep it up!
Yours,
Wayne
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07-29-2007 Frank Fields
After Leigh and Richard have said their say, what is left? Agreement with both. I like the opening, the development, and the ending. Its all a coherent piece of writing. The imagery is good, and word choice is just strong enough to impact but not enough to beat us over the head. I would very much recommend the editing that Leigh suggests. Over all, however, this is a strong write, by a strong author, about a strong subject. Indeed, let them stare.
Frank :)
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07-25-2007 Richard Reed Jr
"I burn inside" -the question is: what do you burn for. This is a well-crafted piece with lots of burning imagery and other good stuff.
"I've never seen far,
I've never seen near.
When vision was the last thing I had,
it failed"
This was my favorite stanza. Great opening.
All in All I love this poem and thought it was a great write.
Bravo,
~Rich
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07-22-2007 Leigh G.
This is a cool poem! I like how you ended it on a positive note. I need glasses, but my mother said, "Glasses weaken your eyes, I've never met a person who didn't need them after using them." So, even though I can no longer read the menus in my video games if I'm more than three feet away, it goes on the list of "when I'm eighteen and living alone" stuff.
Anyway, I noticed a few errors.
All my tears,emotions,and fears subside when I'm alone,
and can see.
Should be, All my tears, emotions, and fears subside when I'm alone,
and can see.
Your errors is a few missing spaces. Also, I am not positive about this one but I want to mention it:
Everyones there, but I'm detached while I stare into the fire.
I think that should be "everyone's", but I'm not positive. Just looks a bit off to me.
Anyway, I like how you make the comparison to fire and expand the overall idea of the poem to something with impact. The beginning keeps things mysterious long enough to keep the reader's interest without getting exasperated. Good work! Glad to see you're submitting so often!
Leigh of the Commenting Community
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