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Richard Reed Jr
You were everything I wanted
I was the last thing you needed
Too brave to run
Too scared to speak
Standing on a pillar of judgment
Tangled amongst torn angel wings in the twisted spiderweb of God
Failure the only option... You were everything I wanted
My God -what a great ending!
What an excellent poem.
I stand here with the narrator and in truth,
I feel that desperation -that same sense of failure.
This poem will stick in my mind forever.
You are indeed a most talented artist, as I knew from the first poem that I read.
Have a full life, my friend.
Leigh Gilholm Fisher
Very nice, very nice! My favorite part of this poem is how you've got it filled with originality. Sometimes, I feel like if I read one more love poem about teenager making a mistake in the relationship or anything else I'll go nuts. So, I liked your topic and way you worded it. There is good flow in this piece, and I like how you have the title in another language, as it really caught my eye, but I think it'd be good to give a translation for the title. Good work on this piece! Hmmm, I've read some of your work. I'll be sure to read some of your stories, you've posted quite a few. :) Great work on this piece! I especially liked the "Sweet rain...wash away our sins..." and the ideas you had going on there.
Leigh of the Commenting Community
Very good. The flow and imagery here is fantastic, the only thing I could think of to make it better is as I was reading it it sounds better to say fly, fly away instead of fly away, fly away, but maybe I'm reading it wrong, just a suggestion, still very good, great write, good job, thanks,
Fascinating imagery! I get something like a love affair gone sour. Am I close? I admit that after five readings I still can't decipher this one. But I like it! Again, I'm gripped by the images.
You're just so versatile I can't believe it. Maybe I should try five more readings. Hmmm.
Here's to ya.