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Shannon Walter
Chelsea Rothe
Zoey Green
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----

Encapsulated Heart
by Catherine Wilson (Age: 33)
copyright 08-22-2007


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
A man that bears the pain of emptiness,
denies what's needed though within his grasp.
Contorted face may turn from happiness,
retreating life into depression's clasp.
The years exhibit on a toughened face,
from isolation's consequential kiss.
As desperation seeks eternal grace,
his banished soul confined in hell's abyss.
When sacrificial verve retrieves this soul,
her fevered passion tempts his arctic core;
but desolation takes a tragic toll,
encapsulated heart will love no more.

With showered ardor seeks his soul to save;
instead is pulled into his icy grave.




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09-04-2007 Everett (dale) Pogue    

"Encapsulated Heart" is a bit difficult to read. It has deep emotion, but not easy to grasp. Maybe a little bit of sentence structure would help. I think "a man who" would work better than "that". "With showered ardor seeks his soul to save" followed by "instead" puzzles me. If you understand it all, then it is okay. dale
Visitor Reads: 381
Total Reads: 401
Comments: 1

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