A Point of Light
by
Euna P.
(Age: 15)
copyright 09-06-2007
Age Rating: 13 to 127
It's dark and I'm
Cold
I wish there was a small
Flame that would
Give me a little warmth so I
Could awaken and
Maybe
Live, laugh, smile, breathe
Let the flow of being
Alive
Run through me, my soul and
Open the
Door
To something new
I want to be free and
Out of this cage
Because I
Can see the clear blue
Skies
Arching overhead
And I can
Hear my wings beating
Against the bars
But I'll never give up
I have a
Dream
I live, I live, and
I will continue to live
Traveling beyond the
Farthest horizons
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Lookie lookie, it's that lazy commenter again! *is poked with a stick by random passerby* *grabs stick and chases after person swatting at them with it*
I like this piece! Your ideas here, especially the comparison with the wings, grabbed my attention. Reminded me of some of my older stuff! *distant look* Ahhhh, those days seem so far away now! But even when the only light we see is outside a cage, sometimes those streams of light illuminating a dusty old cage and a sudden breeze of fresh air can be enough to sustain ourselves. ^-^ It all depends on who our friends are and where we stand, right? It also helps when the person truly wants to see the light, because a lot of the time people will complain about their situation of being lost in 'darkness' but never do a thing to escape it. Even if it's a slow and gradual step to reaching a road to dawn, maybe inching away from the wall and closer to that ray of light streaming in is the first step.
Now that my little poetic rant is done, I have a war to face! *gulp* But I really wanna be chicken s#i! and duck it. XD As far as the poem goes, the ideas are familiar but you took an old receipt, made some alterations and most importantly, a pleasant new flavor! I don't like the style of dividing all the sentences, but it seems to be a style nowadays and is growing on me slowly...like flesh eating bacteria. ^-^
This one is very nice. The cold, stiff opening through a gradual warming, to the inflamed passion of a free spirit at the end. Again, the imagery is good, the word choice consistent with the emotions, and overall it is a coherent piece. I liked it. ^^
YESSS!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE BACK! I thought you were dead or something. Anyway, wow... This is such an enchanting poem. The way you wrote it was interesting. I loved the last line, 'Chasing the light I've never seen before'
Welcome !
