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Cara J.
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Broken Dreams, Broken Hearts
by Frank Fields
copyright 09-08-2007


Age Rating: 10 to 127

  Broken Dreams, Broken Hearts
Picture Credits: http://fs6.deviantart.com/p/2005/117/7/7ca8474c4977bdba.jpg

When will it end
This broken dream
Of sad lament?

My heart cries out
With painful tear
And anguished shout,

No more, have done
For I am hurt
And grieve alone.

Yet still you call
To steal my heart
Aft I gave all.

There is no more
Of me to have
At this late hour.

I see your tears
I hear your cries
The end it nears.

When will it end
This broken dream
Of sad lament?
_________________


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05-09-2008 Susan Brown    

In this poem, I hear the story (in this sad song-Full Orchestra accompaniment) in these short lines, softly playing clear, yet crisp.

I like the way you write, short or long. You compliment my morning coffee...beats the paper all to pieces, I usually read, in your place. lol

Susan
10-08-2007 Leigh G.    

Not the most original choice of rhymes, but still a good poem. Personally, I like your poems with longer lines that tell a story more. But this is still good, as you keep it original with your choice of non-rhymes. I've gotten better at rhyming, but I'm nothing special...as of yet.

Overall ,this was a good piece! Interesting picture, too. The eye looks a little weird though. >.< But I think that's just me. Keep writing!


Leigh of the Commenting Community
09-18-2007 Shannon W.    

Very sad and very catching. Very nice!
09-10-2007 Everett (dale) Pogue    

Frank: It was difficult to move past the sad doe eye and yellow butterfly, but worth the trip. I am amazed at the weaving of three and four word lines, all of them saying much. This was a poignant, painful poem, very well done. Thanks, Dale
Visitor Reads: 200
Total Reads: 214
Comments: 4

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