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On Line
Frank Fields
1 Writers

Shiri Y.
1 Free Members

2 Members
27 Guests

Caring Lies
by Frank Fields
copyright 09-08-2007


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
I went aways
And found a lie.
I went some more
And found a friend.

I asked of friend
Why did you lie?
He turned his head
And asked, why do you care?

I went some more
And found some hate
And further still
Another friendly foe.

I asked of foe
Why do you hate?
He turned his head
And asked, why do you care?

And further still
I found some rage
And on that path
An unseen enemy.

I asked of enemy
Why do you kill?
He turned his head
And asked, why do you care?

Still on the quest
I found a twisted love
And then beyond
A demon lover.

I asked of lovely demon
Why don't you love?
She turned her head
And asked, why do you care?

Still on my way
I found an evil cruel
And way beyond
A devil's devil.

I asked of devil
Why are you cruel?
He turned his head
And asked, why do you care?

And so it went
Each step I took
That with each finding
A head would turn

And ask, why do you care?
_________________


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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03-21-2008 Richard Reed Jr    

I liked this piece very much with it's short stanzas that quickly roll off the tongue and I liked the sentiments a lot,- only one thing - I would like to know does the narrator really care, and why. A little concreteness here would go a long way.

Still -a good write.

Rich
10-08-2007 Leigh G.    

*distant and nostalgic nod* I love it! The ideas were wonderful, well-worded, eye-catching, and (you saw it coming) so refreshingly and wonderfully original! I really like this poem, the beginning reminded me of a few of my own experiences and the middle and ending melted into a well-rounded original poem.

Many people nowadays don't expect others to care, and are surprised and/or cold to those that do. Society has been twisted as time batters old ideals and thoughts into nothingness, eh?


Leigh of the Commenting Community
09-29-2007 Walter Jones    

Cesar lost the battle, the scribe wrote the truth, died by the sword, the soul moved about the ground for a period of time, I reported what I saw, why do you care, truth is a burden hard to carry, a great observation, and write.. Walt
09-10-2007 Samantha P.    

wow confusing much, after the first 3 why do you care i would've tackled someone and been like because i do!!!!
It is kind of like a puzzle though, and i thought we would eventually find something out besides the why do you care but we never did so that was pretty cool. i also liked how you made it seem like a trapped message than no matter how far you go, and how good you get to know someone there is always some sort of emotion like jealousy that will never go away. and also there are some secrets that will never be told, ever.
This was such a cool poem, and yet so well done, i envy you =)
Good job
Samantha
Visitor Reads: 177
Total Reads: 204
Comments: 4

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