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A short, but sweet life message -yet every word picked from your word-smith toolbox was picked with care. Your words chosen well, and well arranged, and like a good cook you sprinkled in just the right amount to suit the taste.
You were right, that word was too hard. I think the changes are better. Unfortunately, I also changed the line which was your favorite, but I think that change is also good. Maybe now you'll have two favorite lines. Thank you for your attention and ideas.
I quiet like this, even with how short you have it you still manage to convey so much truth. It really reminds me of Shakespeare's stuff (and I do not mean that as an insult, heh), something from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream". It has that same light feel to it, even with the content being just a touch darker and hinting at death.
My favorite line is the 'Whispered gently in the moonlit night', and I think that line fits the picture that you chose perfectly.
*tilts*
*sigh*
I like it. *nods* Hahaha, as if I didn't make that obvious already. Only nitpick, the sound 'loved so hard' is not as fae like as the rest of the poem. The word 'hard' is too concrete a word for the rest of the poem, especially along side words like 'whispered', 'moonlit' and 'phantoms'. Maybe find something less concrete and more ethereal like the rest of the poem?
Either way, good stuff!
*half-hearted nod* It's a nice piece. Despite the tiny size, you still conveyed some ideas here. You also enhanced your ideas with the picture, which is good. Dreams fleeting things, one moment there and the next just mist between your fingers. And then you wake up to see there is no mist at all. When it comes to day dreams and dreams, the fantasy is wonderful but the feeling of bitterness when you realize how impossible it is makes you wonder: why bother dreaming at all?
Hmm...for being rather cheerful right now I must sound extremely dark. ^-^ I'm not called the Permafrost Poetess for nothin'!
Wow, it rminds me of like old times with dinasaurs or egyptians and how they are long gone, and we know they where here but we dont actually know them.
This was freaky how true this could be at any moment of our lives, and it was marvelous how you added phantoms and such in this short poem.
For such a very short poem im surprised at home much detail was in it and how you gave the reader endless possobilites to draw conclusions.
Also how when we are all gone they have different emotions, and only humans have love, and yet no matter where or who is in the universe we always dream
marvelous
Samantha
and also your picture totally went with the vibe.
Welcome !
