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*approving nod* I didn't think this was much until the last paragraph. Although, *choke* you actually cut? O_O And nobody noticed...? That's such...sickening. The fact that you go to such extents due to depression and your friends didn't even notice?! Sickening!
Firstly, screw poem rants, if writting poetry keeps you from molesting yourself then do it all the time. Even if you don't think it looks good, just do it. They say mental pain is worse than physical pain, and I can see why people do it, but it is not the right way of doing things. Even if it does ease mental pain in some twisted way, there are sheerly countless ways to ease it other than that.
yah- um... i'm "one of those people." I deal with this pain everyday- and this poem is about the first time I cut. BUT DON'T WORRY! i'm trying to stop on my own... it's a long story why, but i do have my reasons. i've been cutting for 2 WHOLE years and not even my family or friends know. but i write poetry as an alternative to cutting, and it really helps a lot.
lol ok so you make a new poem and everyone jumps to comment and i write one and a few people comment because i told them too. man lol what is the world coming to? so this poem to me was very sad. i have a few best friends who deal with cutting and are in therapy right now.
it is sad to see how people take it out on themselves instead of dealing with the real emotional pain which could be so easy to solve.
I like your texture to this poem, you use a nice descriptive flow, and you make it rhyme and it makes perfect sense to the reader, in my opinion anyway
this was a very nice piece and it is about time some more Jr writers submit more stuff.
This was so sad and i hope you are not one of those peoples that has to deal with this pain.
T_T Such a sad poem... I don't cut, but your poem helped me understand why people do it. I love it Leah. It's beautiful, such powerful words and impact put into just so few stanzas... it's wonderful. I have to agree with Mehrina though, if you're depressed, don't write depressing poetry! When I feel depressed, I look at how really blue the sky is on a sunny day, or the sun shining through the leaves on a tree. It's a stupid way, but it makes me feel better. All in all though, I loved your poem. Keep writing!
I... love it... Nobody understands why I cut. I stopped, but nobody got why. All they would say was, "Why do you do that to your self?" And I would yell at them, say I had to. Great poem, Leah! And Frank, thank you for not acting as if emo were bad. Everyone says it is, and that's a personal subject for me. Great work!
Megan C.
Eeee.... is high school getting to you already? Leah! Writing depressing poetry is not the way! In fact, to make your school day better, you know what you should do? Eat in the courtyard! The smaller one; it's really nice and quiet, and there's lots of butterflies but no bees! ^-^ I eat there every day!
Okay, about the poem. Once again, your rhyming ability impresses and exasperates me at the same time. :P You make me feel so bad about myself, I'm so jealous... Can I steal your rhymes, please?
I really liked the last two lines. "She's still looking for her answer- It's written in her blood." I don't know how you do it, but that's a very brilliant close to the poem!
There is one thing, though. Your rhyming is very good, but your structure isn't as good. There's a lot of syllables in one line, but not as many in the next. Take, for example, the fourth paragraph.
She can’t find another option.
And she definitely can’t wait-
For if she held in one moment longer,
Suicide won’t hesitate.
The first and second lines go good together, but the third clashes horribly with the second and fourth lines. The syllables sound painfully forced! So watch out for that in the future!
Okay, I really need to go now. I still haven't done that self-portrait thingy, and Blackboard won't let me log on!!
Welcome !
