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Death Has My Heart
by
Samantha P.
(Age: 15)
copyright 09-10-2007
Age Rating: 10 to 127
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Picture Credits:
Exquisite amber eyes, covered all over in a hazel sea green, embrace unfamiliar surroundings
I glance at the marvelous world through those gleaming eyes, which see everything so differently
After long stretches of time I ponder on what those divine eyes see in me
Before any objection could be made, lurid Death meets my lingering eyes as his soft lips caress mine
I latch onto my remaining strength, as it pours out into our reinforced embrace
Emptiness always hovered over my heart like a gloomy drape, never to see love
Removing it, was like seeing every color for the first time
An explosion of life flooding over my soul with every color I grasped.
I see a reflection in your eyes it's like looking into a mirror, I can't see love, nor can I see the wind but my quivering hands can feel it
So I entrust my heart to the one who is ruler of the dead
And I must believe Lord Death will protect me even after death
and I shall always return the favor
For Lord Death I love you
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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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01-06-2008 Lauren T.
Your ending was GREAT.
I loved it. Dark and abstract, the concept of loving death...
I liked it a lot.
I'm not going to rant, there's nothing to rant about!
Great work!
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12-19-2007 Rikki V.
I think i finally understand what first inspired you to write a poem about Death. I won't go on a long rant like Leigh did, but truly, this is a fantastic work, as most of your's are. I really like the fact that you made death into a person, because that makes him less frightening, and that makes the thought of his coming more bearable. And the final line:
"For Lord Death I love you"
utterly and completely a fantastic finnish.
My dark side was purring when i read this, i swear. It appeals to the writer in me, and the, uh....i guess...goth side of me.
alright, well, that's the end of my mini-rant!
Much much much love, Rikki/Ikkir
P.S. try to have fun w/o me in arizona!
P.P.S.S. I re-commented because the other one was really lame, and i haven't read this in a long time and now i think i understand it a wee bit better.
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10-11-2007 Rayna L.
Darkness is what I see, and its okay. I do have to agree though that death is a realtionship that everyone has. I belive that one day every one will die. It will be good as long as you don't have any regrets.
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10-03-2007 Richard Reed Jr
I've always thought death to be the only consistent companion we have here in this life.
Perhaps our relationship with death is what defines us all and makes us different and unique!?
Neeeeway, I loved your poem. read it over many times and loved it more each time.
I liked the narration and the words you chose and the way you arranged them.
Good write,
~Rich
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10-02-2007 Leigh G.
I am baaaaaaack! I would love to rant of where I’ve been, but this poem is to great to be overshadowed by such! I absolutely love the ideas and topics here. I could give you a hundred rants over about Norse Mythology and Valkyrie Profile that remind me of this. The ending of it summarized all that was told in the poem, which was a nice though too. But you need to be more diligent with saying “The Lord of Death” over simply “death” early on.
I could also rant about all the situations in my own books that remind me of this, but I’ll just state the fact it does. XD It reminds me of many things, but not in a “been there, done that” kind of way. Rather, it’s a beautiful summary of the ideas that have flooded my mind and the minds of others. >too much mythology over this summer for me<
The bit where you’re saying how you trust your life with the Lord of Death is a little anticlimactic the way you word it, though. I can understand that you’re not directing this poem to the ‘Lord of Death’ in question here, so it’s tricky to keep your ideal of the poem alive and also add to that line a bit. Actually…the more I think of it, I’d say you should read it over yourself and decide if you want to change it. If so, drop me a line and I’ll give you some suggestions. It isn’t a serious flow problem and, as I said above, it does summarize the poem but if you were wary about those lines when writing it, it wouldn’t hurt to play with them a bit. But if they are your favorite lines in the poem and you feel they convey your ideal the clearest, then I’ll read the poem over again in a while with that in mine. J
Was that ever a rant…anyway, did ya miss me? I’ve dabbled around on another writing site and just focused on sequels to books that the original needs so much editing it’ll take forever to get it on PnP, but I’m back. I’m not very dedicated to PnP in summers. XD But with reports during the school year I can click away at websites without suspicious. Well, not much suspicion.
Great work on this piece, Antha! I’d say it’s the favorite of your works. I’d rate it more than 5 if I could! Even if it doesn’t seem like it from that big rant ya got about a way to improve the ending, it’s still my favorite. I’m weird like that sometimes, eh? XD
Leigh
AKA The Sailor Saturn Plushie W/ A Butcher Knife
(that will be my title until I’m a CC member again…)
P.S. I read it over again and it even unchanged it flows well.
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09-16-2007 Emily Garwood
Impressive piece this work is i was looking at your profile and the title caught my attention my son darien says picture ok (he's two...and no he's still not asleep lol)
Anyways this piece of work is well done and written its a weird saying to say that death has your heart but everyones got different sayings for their feelings right?¿ I'll tell you what i can't grip though and i've been here ages now lol is when people write color since i'm english we write it as colour it's still so weird for me but its correct so can't say zip lol anyways really good piece keep up the work and i'm sure lord death won't always have you're heat one day your knight will fight him for it ;)
Emy
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09-13-2007 Frank Fields
Sorry, I should have noticed this first time around. The age rating. I'm not sure this piece is suitable for the age rating given. You might want to consider raising it. A little bit. ^^
Frank :)
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09-13-2007 Frank Fields
Many-layered, this offering. With interpretations as may suit any reader. But, read carefully enough, as I like to think I did, lol, what I am told is more a tale of seduction, or the passage from the uninitiated, to the special ranks of those who have come to know Love.
And find that knowledge almost more than they can live with. And knowing that the Love they found was strong enough to protect, even at death.
The imagery is excellent, as well as your choice of words, the textures which you achieved, even the movements were all fine. Opened very well, developed coherently, and ended strongly enough with a positive statement that belied any really dark or Gothic interpretations.
Gave reminiscence of Greek & Roman, as well as other mythologies and cultures that celebrate Love knowing that death is but a stepping stone to a higher truth.
I need to put my "salty pen" away for this one. You left it unemployed. ^^
Frank :)
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09-11-2007 Leah G.
Wow! this was impressive. i liked your dark, descriptive voice. I had to reread it though to understand it- probably because I'm not that good at deciphering poetry. Nevertheless, this poem sounded very cool- and very dark too. the end was confusing, though. This piece had a very unique style. great job!
Leah
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09-11-2007 Rikki V.
that rocks! I love your work, Sam/Smurf/Antha. And I don't just say that because your my best friend. I wish I could write poetrylike that. Keep workin' hard. Much luv, Ikkir
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