Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
Commenting nowadays makes me drink bottle upon bottle of water. This is my third...or forth. Anyway!
More on all the ups and downs of love...while not the most original, this is still a good piece and addition to your library. Plus, even when the poem isn't your best if writing it gets your emotions out and helps you find solace, that's what is most important.
Nice rhymes and flow! I am slowly gaining the ability to rhyme. I've been writing songs and poetry since I was tiny...'spose it only took ten years to learn th art of rhyming. XD
Well, it was very sweet. I'm not sure if it really applies to break-up, because being the clueless, absent-minded non-American teenager I am, it sorta reminded of a person dying. Like, they'll move on, and you can't really follow, and you can hate them for that. But you can realize that the life given to you and that person is so much greater, and you should be thankful for it. I don't really know what I'm saying, but I will say that it was a really nice piece, and your short rhymes just put forward the delicacy of the emotions involved in such a situation.
Again, an ending that is somewhat unexpected, but which removes your presentation from the angst of separation. After taking us through the sadness of parting however gently, the last stanza holds out a hope that the parting may not yet be. A very nice touch for romantics like myself who don't want to become embroiled in the sadness and despair of love gone.
A couple of the things on the technical. I would have liked to have seen lines with more or less the same number of syllables. The flow might have been improved. The very first two lines really bothered me. They don't agree in tense. I think they should. And, to be really picky, the 2nd stanza, 2nd line, maybe "its" should be "it's" to show contraction, not possession?
I think you know my critiques well enough by now to know I'm not really picking on you. Okay, pen is put away. ^_^ lol
This is a very nice piece. Smooth, not overly dramatic, presented and developed well, and ends well. Is all.
Leah: It's a break-up and they can be painful. The one you write about is not a screaming, I hate you kind. It is more like most are. I liked that. The rhyming is good. I would encourage you to substitute for "things" since it is used three times for sure. You are obviously a bright, talented young lady. Keep those rhymers coming. Dale
Welcome !
