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Dying Soldier
by Chessie Hodge (Age: 18)
copyright 09-26-2007


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
Her eyes were so bright in that picture,
Brighter than I ever remembered them being before
I stared at the image
Taking notice of every feature...
Her smile...
Her slightly flushed complexion from the sun...
That one strand of hair that had fallen down into her face...
The ground shook around me
I stood motionless
I watched as friends fell
Screams echoing through my skin
But somehow within all the chaos
I was not afraid
I was about to meet my mortality face to face
But there was a nostalgic peace that consumed me
And even as the tears hit the surface of the photograph
I hoped that she would not cry for me as I was for her
I kissed that happy face one last time
Pressing it to my heart and reloading my gun...



... Hours later the picture of a young woman was found
in the firm grasp of a dead soldier's hand, his wedding ring still wrapped around his finger...



------------------------------------------------------
When I wrote this I had WWII in mind,
but I think it can apply to just about any war.
It's all up to your interpretation of it.


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06-03-2008 Susan Brown    

The feeling here this piece pours forth, very easy to absorb, during the reading of your words.

We all see the haunting image (ever so clearly) of love laying out in a field of no homeward return. This one...makes me want to cry my eyes out it's so vivid.

Now, I have to go read somemore to shake these images. Wow! Written from somewhere deep, good job!

Beach towel, where are you? I need to blow my nose.

Susan
10-23-2007 Richard Reed Jr    

Overwhelmingly heartrending. I agree with everything that Frank had to say. I'm wondering why you chose World War II in your mind when you wrote this!?

I was immediately drawn into this piece and once there I was a captive to your masterful words and story.
This one will stick in my guts for a long, long time.

Thanks for sharing,

~Rich
09-28-2007 Frank Fields    

Yes, this could apply to any war, any conflict where armed people go about the business of shooting other people. This is not a poem to like, but it is one that can be appreciated. It is well opened, well developed and very well closed. I very much like the uncertainty of exactly who it was that died. Presenting the last sentence the way you did, clarified the story but didn't interfere with it. That was nicely done. The imagery, the sights and sounds, even the smells and motions, are also nicely done.
This has a prose quality to it, but structured as a poem is more meaningful.
This is good writing! ^^

Frank :)
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