There We Were
by
Debra Rose
(Age: 21)
copyright 10-03-2007
Age Rating: 4 to 127
There we were...
...and my heart sped up,
and my palms got sweaty.
And I asked myself, "What's the point?
When all you'll do is die in the end?"
And I was surprised when my own head replied,
"It may be someone to spend the slash with
in between the two dates on my gravestone."
A way to make the slash more than a line,
and mean something.
If not to the world.
Then to myself.
And the weekend that I met him at my
sisters wedding made me wonder,
would I want to wear white?
Or would I present myself in colors and brights,
to represent the complexity of a future lain out before us all?
Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
So much to think about...there we be...is it worth the energy, time or trouble? Beginnings and endings and all the slashes in-between...drama unfolds no matter which way we turn when approaching a new day. Enjoyed the poem.
Good to read your work again, Debra. Your poem makes one wonder what the reason is for our very existence, and ask why all the pain! Some day I am sure we will all understand.
Very morbid, yet thoughtful. Ive always thought, we should take what we get and love it, never why even bother, for god gave us life to live, not to question it, and say why even bother to live.
But i liek how u question what you want, and marriage, that was amazing.
Your detail described a perfect image of all the scenes in this poem, and how i hope you do want to spend your life with someone.
Samantha
CC community
On the technical: "sisters" needs an apostrophe, I think? The use of lain is unusual, but considering the way you've presented many different tense structures, and because my dictionary reference makes it perfectly all right, I don't anyone should complain. (pun not intended).
I like this presentation very much. I am beguiled from the opening, through its development, and satisfied that it has a definite ending. The emotional battle is well-described and with imagery that makes it more real than otherwise. Even the variations of the tenses, which I'd normally scowl at, helped me to see where the "action" was at any point in the read. This is very well done. All of it. ^^
You never fail to amaze me with the complexity of your works. Even when something seems so simple, you provoke so much thought with so few lines. And that makes all of your stuff so enjoyable to read. ^_^
Wonderfully done!
<3
*tosses glitter and cookies about*
Another amazing exercise that subtly reveals a wonderfully introspective and perceptive thinker beneath what might deceptively appear as a fluff. The magic is that it's not - it's another diamond in the rough. Good stuff - as always you amaze me. Write on!
Best Regards, Lyle
The gift of writer age and seeing every side of living, your style is your own, your voice is filled with image, special forever, in mind triggers you lead most, a trail of writing creating foundations for growth, best with next step. Walt
Welcome !
