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Amazing. So many fake smiles are there to cover true agony. I think you show that perfectly in this poem. You still amaze me every time.
I have to practice to get as good as you are. I can't find anything that seems seriously wrong. You did great.
Hi! I can relate to this one too! Wow! I'm on a roll! Two poems in a row that I understand! So anyway... I know how you feel. Everyone says, "Megan, you're so beautiful!" My mom, my sister, just random people. Even my best friend says, "Megan, you're so cute! You're sexy!", which creeps me out a little bit. It just makes me more self conscious, though, because I feel like I have to be the prettiest out of all my friends, so much that I do crazy things. Okay, so anyway, back to your poem... I didn't notice any spelling or punctuation mistakes. I love the rhyme scheme! I'm just terrible at that! Great poem, I'm still going to read more!
Oh, hey, this is my first long comment ever! Congratulations on making me like your poems so much! Bye!
Megan
Old in thought but creative in style, a voice that lingers long after the words fall off the lips, open as real as any sore, life in society measures no mater extension of thought, value in first see opens doors that for others are closed, yet so much more is wanted and needed, as write easy on the ears as a message glass ceilings break in sight of beauty perceived. Walt
Today must be the day for those long-thought-dead- and-gone-forever thoughts to be scratched open once again. As Leigh said, you've probably touched an elemental vein with this one. Well, no, that's not what she said, but the idea is there. Maybe none of us can ever stop being human, after all. If your poem has a story, and it does, indeed, that is the one that I would use. The entire piece, actually, can be used as a metaphor to illustrate how mean and petty humanity can sometimes be. I'm starting to ramble, huh? This is a nice presentation, the things I look for are all there, plus a few more. Mostly, though, it reads easily and slides into my soul to let me see your sights and feel your feels. Not too many, anymore, can do that.
Is very good writing! ^^
*sad smile* I feel like I could of written it myself. That's how easily I can relate to this one. The beginning reminded me of a song by Utada Hikaru, Kremlin Dusk.
Is it like this, is it always the same? If you like this, will you remember my name? Will you play it again, if you like this?
That's just a small part of the song. The beginning of the song isn't very catchy, but the words in the end really mean a lot...to the right person, at least. Ask Meh to send it to you, if ya want. ^-^
Anyway! I liked the flow of this piece, and there weren't many line-break-sentence-holes. It's almost ironic how many other people say they cry themselves to sleep in their poetry. I've been noticing it more recently. Anyway, that was a bit random. I really like this piece! When I first saw the title I wasn't expecting much, but I enjoyed this piece for originality and the story it told behind the words.
Welcome !
