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Once in my life, everything was clear-
Everything either black or white.
I knew what I liked and what I didn’t.
I knew the difference between wrong and right.
I loved myself, I liked family and god,
I played many sports, enjoyed music and art,
I was a happy, but naïve and innocent.
I excelled in school and was proud to be smart.
Childhood faded away, teenage years rolled in
Everything had changed, so different and new.
I felt like I couldn’t be me anymore-
This new world seemed to defy all I knew.
I was rejected by all of my peers.
They made sure I knew loud and clear-
I had the wrong friends, I loved god,
I was smarty, suck-up volunteer.
I labeled “vain” for liking myself,
And not being insecure like the rest.
I was a “nerd” ‘cause I liked my parents,
‘Cause I studied and did my best.
I didn’t wear the right brand of clothes,
I wasn’t the right shape or physique,
I talked too much, was too athletic,
And I guessed I was just too unique.
So if nobody liked someone “different,”
Then I had to find a way to blend in.
I made a “fake me” that was perfect
And I locked my real self up within.
At first it was hard to be lying,
But then my act started to work-
I had more friends and was popular.
They seemed to believe this big quirk.
The real me would shout out once in a while,
And my “friends” would disappear and flee.
I was lost, my confidence plummeted,
‘Cause I knew they didn’t like the real me.
I knew that I needed my “friends,”
So my real self would have to go.
Who needs self confidence anyway?
Nobody would ever notice or know…
“Fake me” talked louder, real me got smaller.
And then I had more friends than before.
I was accepted and liked, all I could want-
I faded away, my “fake self” talked more.
Sometimes, I would reflect on these actions.
It seemed a bit wrong to live this big lie
It wasn’t lying, it was just… hiding.
I needed to fit in, but I didn’t know why.
The “fake me” worked; I got more friends.
I blended in, normal as could be.
There’s one tiny problem with this lie,
The problem is- I hate the real me.
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