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Cherry Blossoms
Sakura
To those who know me: you knew I’d made a pun like that with a title, riiiiiiiiight?
To those who don’t know me too well: Sakura is my nickname for the sing Sakura Drops by Utada Hikaru, one of my favorite of her songs. In fact, it’s the first track on the next disc my RCA 5-Disc Changer is going to play in another two minutes. Sakura is a beautiful love song, and also serves as one of my favorite Japanese names.
Not much has changed though the times of cold are approaching. All the romantic turbulence for me, or at least the worst of it, happened in January to March. To quote Utada Hikaru from her song Sanctuary:
So many up’s and down’s,
My heart’s a battleground
Those two lines, while short, sum up so much for my life early in the year. I distinctly remember keeping myself up later than usual, unable to cast my thoughts aside. Lots of things happened, and I do admit to making things harder with my indecision. If you want to know more about my indecision, read “Liar” and “Who Do You Hate?” as I wrote those from my own experience. On a longer scope, I also wrote “It’s Gotta Be Goodbye” to the same person. But my feelings have changed too much from the time I wrote that piece for it to be part of the little series of poems I have going…
Luckily, all my friendships have been neutral. Even after two years, Meh is still my best friend and I still have good relations on PnP. I often pick on Meh saying I need to keep an eye on her like she’s a younger sister, but its all fun and games. Through these two years it’s been like a dream to have somebody to talk about anything with and still goof off with.
My rival and I hadn’t clashed much either, so that’s always a blessing. While “rival” is still the word I use, it’s always been like that. Ever since I joined PnP I’ve wanted to become as renowned around members with poems and stories people enjoy reading. To a degree, I’ve gained that. My writing has matured and I try to maintain at least fifty comments a month; I’m happy with the reputation I have here on PnP. Even if it also goes with lazing out in the summers…
As far as the season change goes, I loathe fall. It’s my favorite weather, cool but not freezing, but I get terrible allergies. Hell, I’m going to the doctor to be prescribed something in just a few hours… But anyway, spring and fall have my favorite weather patterns though my body doesn’t react well to pollen.
Winter also means it’ll be getting quite cold and averaging in temperatures below the freezing point, but as long as it’s above sixty-eight degrees Fahrenheit in my room and my fingers aren’t going numb when I type, I am happy! Plus, it’s the time of year I make money. All the old geezers in my neighborhood need somebody to help decorating for holidays, and I’m always willing to rise to the task!
As I’m approaching the end of this piece, I suppose I should go back to ma koi. (embrace the language switching) I haven’t talked to him much in the last while, as he’s been busy. It doesn’t change anything on my end, and it’ll only make our conversations more important to me. Just gives me more time to organize copy and pasted conversations…
Things are remaining peaceful, and I’m cheerfully approaching two years of knowing I care for him. With points I was seriously irritated at him or myself, others I just wanted to forget, and many parts I actually was peaceful. I’m glad to report that since March, my heart hasn’t been a battleground. There was a brief turmoil in June, but it was very minor.
You’ve got my rant, love it or leave it. Just for the fun of it, here are the lyrics to Utada Hikaru’s song, Sakura. And note: while the translation below isn’t the most accurate one, so I’ve learned, it is the translation I memorized so I will use it here.
Romaji:
Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa: kore ga saigo no heartbreak
Sakura sae kaze no naka de yurete
Yagate hana wo sakasu yo
Furidashita natsu no ame ga
Namida no yoko wo tootta suutto
Omoide to daburu eizou
Aki no dorama saihousou
Doushite onaji you na panchi
Nandomo kuratchaun da
Sore demo mata tatakaun darou
Sore ga inochi no fushigi
Koi wo shite subete sasage
Negau koto wa: kore ga saigo no heartbreak
Sakura sae toki no naka de yurete
Yagata hana wo sakasu yo
Kurikaesu kisetsu no naka de
Kutsu ga surihetteku
Motto kata no chikara nuite
Kako wa dokoka ni shimatte oke
Koko kara sou tooku nai darou
Mita koto mo nai keshiki
Tomaranai mune no itami koete
Motto kimi ni chikazukitai yo
Hitomawari shite wa modori
Aoi sora wo zutto tesaguri
Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa: kyou ga saisho no good day
Sakura made kaze no naka de yurete
Sotto kimi ni te wo nobasu yo
Suki de suki de doushiyou mo nai
Sore to kore to wa kankei nai
English Translation:
I’ve fallen in love and called it quits
And now I swear: this will be my final heartbreak
Even the cherry blossoms, swaying in the wind
Eventually bloom
A summer rain has begun,
Falling alongside my tears with a rushing sound
A repeat of an autumn drama
Playing in dual vision with my memories
Why is the same old pantomime
Playing out again and again?
Yet we still keep fighting
That’s the mystery of life
I’ve fallen in love and given it everything
And I pray: that this will be my final heartbreak
Even the cherry blossoms, swaying in the winds of time
Eventually bloom
My shoes have worn out
As the seasons come and go again and again
Summon up a little more strength…
Leave the past behind somewhere
There’s bound to be scenery you’ve never seen for
Not so far from here
I want to overcome the constant pain in my heart
To get closer to you
I go around in circles and ending up back where I started
Forever reaching for the blue sky
I’ve fallen in love and called it quits
And now I swear: today will be my first good day
I’ll try to catch the cherry blossoms blowing in the wind
Reaching out for you at the same time
I love you, I love you, I can’t help it
I don’t care about the little details
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