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Cara J.
1 Free Members

1 Members
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Makeup
by Chessie Hodge (Age: 18)
copyright 11-23-2007


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
Burning backwards
The brush sweeping across my face
I don't really care
Because I feel too out of place
Porcelain dolls and hopes too false
The world is ready to bend
I'm not the girl you think I am
I'm not the girl you think I am...

You might be surprised
Putting on that dress
Pretending to be a star
In the wake of all that makeup, baby
You can't find who you are...

They didn't know me then
And they don't know me now
Swallowed up in a sea of Superficial faces
It's all Bullshit...
I'm not the girl I thought I was
And I wish someone could remind me...

I'm LOST

And I wish you could remind me...


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04-06-2008 Richard Reed Jr    

A very haunting poem, made more so by your excellent closing line. We all play different roles at different times, but who are we really?
Technically your piece is full of rhythm and composed of excellent imagery. A couple of nits. I might change"the brush" to hair brush and discose to your audience who "They" are in the last stanza.

Excellent write,

Rich
12-19-2007 Lauren T.    

Wow. your imagery is amazing.
Girls hide behind so much make up.
Its really sad, and they don't even look like themselves anymore.
I can't find any problems with it.
Nice job
12-05-2007 Samantha P.    

lol ok sooo the one problem i have on this is the age rating. I don't really think 10 year olds should be reading the word bullshit, or at least i dont want my brothers to read stuff like that.
Yah i like makeup because its nice to think you yourself are pretty. But i rarely wear makeup or fancy clothes because inside i'm a star and dont need fancy stuff to express that.
It is sad how people dont see others for who they really are
This was a good poem, your amazing at writing
Sammy of the CC
11-26-2007 Richard Reed Jr    

I could remind the narrator that you're different things to different people inclusive of your self. Who do you wish to be?
If you manage to transcend yourself, who are you?

Much to like in your poetry, as usual. You are the Mistress of words and images.

You do indeed honor us here.

~gives her a golden tiara encircled with ruby red gems~


~Rich
Visitor Reads: 148
Total Reads: 171
Comments: 4

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