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On Line
Olga Orlova
Marjorie Jenkins
Robert Betts
Andrea P.
4 Writers

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4 Members
30 Guests

Broken Doll
by Lauren T. (Age: 14)
copyright 12-16-2007


Age Rating: 13 to 127

  Broken Doll
Picture Credits: http://maicon_rs.weblogger.com.br/

Eyes so perfect
Skin so clear
A beautiful fake life
She's held so dear

She's perfect to you
She's a doll
Made so lovingly
Forgotten, she'll fall

A defect
Imperfect to the core
She hides her pain
She can't take it anymore

She's not finished yet
She's unable to walk
She's all alone
She's afraid to talk

She's crying for love
She wanted to laugh
She wanted to be cared for
She's now torn in half

She's boxed up
She's going to be thrown away
She wasn't worth it
She'd die this way

Her eyes have dimmed
Her skin is now pale
Her actual terrible life
Her own actual Hell





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Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page

06-24-2008 Brooke M.    

I love this! It was so haunting and heart wrenching....pain filled and sad. Amazing write! I had to read it twice. Lots of thought and depth in this, the reader can actually feel the hopelessness, pain, and agony...I know I did. And those kind of peoms are the best kind, because they reach out to the reader and capture them...great work! Keep it up!
05-06-2008 Jade L.    

Beautiful. I'm one of those people who feels horrible seeing toys thrown away or lying all alone. Don't you just wish you could see them all happy and loved? *squeezes her teddy tight* You know I love you huh Snowy?
05-02-2008 Frank Fields    

I've read this one several times now. Each time it's a little bit more sad. You have put an awful lot of imagery, texture, movement, and thought into so few words. The illustration does go with the poem quite well; she does look like a used-up doll. Excellent work Lauren! ^^

Frank :)
Member of


04-20-2008 Susan Brown    

When the picture of this crying doll loaded on this page, my first reaction (natural) was to push my chair away from my desk. Yikes, this one is good! Slap me! Spooky to the max.

Good one!
Susan
03-19-2008 Wayne Thomas    

Wow, what a metaphor! This is a fascinating piece. Nice desription, nice word usage, though a little, but understandably, rough in spots. I don't mind the lack of caps and commas, as I've done the same thing. Good job!
12-28-2007 Dori D.    

i love poems like these... i especially like yours... many see dolls as perfect beauty objects yet there is always something deeper.. BEAUTIFUL... i really enjoyed reading it... in some of the words though i misunderstood... did she fall off a shelf or something...because you put she falls... other than that i really liked it..^-^
Visitor Reads: 136
Total Reads: 163
Comments: 6

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