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Tanya Tortelli
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The Magic in the Garden
by Lauren T. (Age: 14)
copyright 01-14-2008


Age Rating: 10 to 127

  The Magic in the Garden
Picture Credits:

Sweet smells surrounding us
The sun peeks through
Smiling on us
All this beauty that you grew

Roses seem to say I love you
As if to speak in your stead
Your eyes seem to tell me that I'm right
Your feelings are alive in the flower bed

The ivy has grown on the walls
As I have on your heart
Your smile tells me I'm not mistaken
Its a beautiful way to start

The forget-me-nots seem to say
"Never leave me"
I can tell by your blush, what you feel
I can tell its ment to be

The tulips seem to beckon me closer
To kiss me on the cheek
Your wish, in the flowers form
My knees get weak

We fall in love


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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06-20-2008 Frank Fields    

Hi Lauren. ^^ It seems a while since Pen has stopped by to visit with one of your works. It gets lazy, sometimes. lol

This is very nice. Soft and gentle with many good images that are easy to hold. As well as having an emotional content that doesn't try to overwhelm the reader.

Three technicals that you might consider worth changing: 3rd stanza, last line--"its" to "it's"
and 4th stanza, last line, again "its" to "it's" and "ment" to "meant."

This was a nice write. ^^

Frank :)
Member of


06-20-2008 Emily B.    

This is my favorite. I give it a five, because I want a garden like that. It's really nice. I'm new to PnP, but so far I've gotten a lot of praise from my two works Rainbow of Light and Moon Flower, my own two haiku works. So I'll add this to my favorites!
06-05-2008 Denise Johnson    

This was wonderful, I really loved it. If I had some points I would of given you 5, but I was away from the site for a long time so they took all my points off me! Well done.
Visitor Reads: 116
Total Reads: 134
Comments: 3

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