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On Line
Jackie Edwards
1 Writers

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1 Members
27 Guests

The Ice Melting
by Samantha P. (Age: 15)
copyright 12-06-2007


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
Once the threads of fate have been entangled they cannot be undone.
My mind is like a twisted lullaby,
since I feel sorrow, you always hear a soothing, yet sad song.
My ice cold grip is almost as bad as my piercing eyes,
yet you grasp my hand and stay by my side.
A layer of frost covers the trees,
I know when you think of the cold you think of me.
However, your eyes are warm,
they're like the ocean waves, crashing down on me,
but they're still a calm sea green.
The ice has shattered, the cold is gone,
I no longer sing sorrowful songs.
The threads are bound to my heart,
and our fates are intertwined.
You gave me your heart,
I just hope you accept mine.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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04-22-2008 Susan Brown    

This poem is easy to enjoy as it sounds like a song. These young poets on this site are so talented. Impressive! I'm looking forward to reading more submitted by you.

Susan
01-06-2008 Lauren T.    

The ending was great.
Sometimes we see ourselves as cold people, and others are so much better then us, and they might think that too.
Your style was nice, and the flow was good.
GREAT JOB!
I look forward to reading more poems by you.
-Laur
12-16-2007 Rikki V.    

I can't believe there's hardly any comments on this poem
i loved how you wrote this poem for devin haha bet no one knows that! mwuaha. ttsshh where's my poem sam lol
it was really good though pretty short but still good
12-09-2007 Leigh G.    

Hmm, was that ending meant to be bittersweet? I'm in that sort of mood so I might of misinterpreted the tone of it.

Other than a few lines lacking capitalization, this was a very good poem. I liked your descriptions and how the title had a strong connection to the poem. It was on the short side, but you said a lot in the lines you used. I liked the idea and the story you told in this piece. Good work! Keep it comin'.


Leigh of the Commenting Community
Visitor Reads: 126
Total Reads: 141
Comments: 4

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