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Autumn

by Jane Lee (Age: 21)
copyright 12-07-2007


Age Rating: 1 +

Sitting down at my school desk,
I look outside of the white curtained window.
Before I noticed it, the trees had already changed their clothes.
Orange... Red... Yellow...
I cannot find green.
When the wind blows the leaves fall one by one.
Look! I can see a bird nest.
They must be changing their clothes again.






Visitor Reads: 765
Total Reads: 793
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        07-05-2008     Amanda Carroll        

I agree, any more lines would make it less... crisp. Metaphorically speaking. The simple musings and flow of the poem really captures the fleeting thoughts of daydreams -as is common in a classroom situation. Though I must point out that "white curtained window" should be "white-curtained window" instead.

        01-18-2008     Megan Cox        

I like it! Even though it's kind of short, it's still really nice. Like everyone else said, there's no need to apologize. Good luck in my contest!
Megan

        01-05-2008     Richard Reed Jr        

I agree with Frank and Wayne.
This is short and sweet, but it needs no further words to make the point and get the idea across to the audience.
It was a most entertaining piece. Thanks for sharing.

~Rich

        01-01-2008     Wayne Thomas        

Hi!
Like Frank says, no apologies are needed. A good poem is always welcome, regardless, and this is a top-notch, ingenious piece. Says what needs to be said, and quits. Short and sweet, as Grandma used to say. I like it a lot. Now for the others!

        12-14-2007     Mary -BrytEyz- Ball        

Changing their clothes... what a wonderful personification! I'd never thought of it like that before. See what a new and fresh idea can do? I'm all warm with inspiration again! Thank you.

        12-09-2007     Frank Fields        

It's never necessary to apologize for posting any work, regardless of if it ties in with the current weather, politics, attitudes, etc. That you liked it well enough to share it with us is its own justification. Besides, it's a very nice, though short, look at seasonality. I like the imagery and the texture and the lack of errors. LOL This is a good write. ^^

Frank :)

        12-07-2007     Jane Lee        

Sorry, I know it's already winter but I didn;t have any time to post this. Anyway this was originally homework for school, but I just decided that I liked it.



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