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Deer in the Headlights

by Leah G.
copyright 12-12-2007


Age Rating: 10 +

On a dark road in the night,
A car zooms down the street.
A deer stumbles in the light
Prancing on its feet.
It hesitates as it can feel
Speed and chaos ahead.
It forgets the automobile
And continues on instead.
A deer in the headlights,
I’m afraid it is too late.
I hate these terrible sights,
Why’d the deer hesitate?
It waited for its doom,
Bumped right into death,
“How pathetic,” I assume.
“Maybe bliss was its last breath.”
This ultimate stupidity
Was so poignant, yet true-
This deer seemed to reminded me
Of a dumb person like you.






Visitor Reads: 720
Total Reads: 730
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        01-22-2008     Megan Cox        

I finally got the chance to read one of your poems! ^-^ I'm not a long comment person, but I try to say what I feel. I liked this poem a lot! I loved the last two lines, too funny! I was in a bad mood until now, your poem made me smile. That takes a lot. Great poem! I'll try to read more now! ^-^ Erbarley!
Megan

        12-16-2007     Mehrina Butt        

*laugh* I love those last two lines. Even though the whole poem seems to be a bit morbid, the last two lines were just funny. XD

I was actually a bit surprised by this poem, because your rhythm is a bit weaker than usual. There's a few places where the amount of syllables don't match or nearly match, so it sounds a bit awkward at places. Also, it was unusually short. But your rhymes were, as usual, excellent and overall, I think it was a good poem. Not one of your best, but still good!

~*Meh*~



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