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Welcome once again to The Crazy World Of Writers, a place where humor is rife and the unimaginable may happen.
This tale that I am about to tell you is true as far as I am concerned, you may believe it or you may choose not to believe it the choice is entirely up to you.
Last Christmas eve I was tossing and turning in bed trying to get to sleep, I guess the excitement which is always present at that time of year was getting in the way of my sleeping.
After a while I resigned myself to be awake and in the time that I was I thought about all the lonely people in the world who did not have a home to go to for Christmas.
No home at Christmas, what a thought, I lay there wondering what it would be like to spend Christmas all alone.
If only I could do something to help these people have the best Christmas ever...........................................................................
I heard the sleigh bells first, then a dull thud on the roof of my house.
I was awake, I am sure of that.
Dust and soot came out of the fireplace and I remember thinking to myself that if that fat guy is going to mess up my living room then he better be prepared to do something for me because there is no way I am going to let him 'mess up my house, eat my pies and drink my wine, while he stands there encouraging them darn reindeers to drink the last of the milk which would mean I would have to go to the shops on Christmas day to buy some more for my usual cup of coffee,' without some sort of compensation.
After a struggle the big red guy popped out of the chimney yelling as he did, "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
I said to him, "Less of the shouting big guy because you are going to wake up the whole neighborhood with that loud voice of yours, do you realize what time it is?"
Big guy looked at me with what I can only describe as amazement on his chubby face.
"Do you not realize who I am?" said the big red fellow.
I pointed out to him that I knew who he was, also letting him know that I was not too pleased by the way he broke into my house.
I said to him, "During the few hundred years that you have been around Santa, did no one ever let you in on the secret that we have invented a remarkable thing called a door?"
"Hey what is this?" said Santa, "I come here out of the goodness of my heart to give you a present and I get all this crap, what the hell is going on?"
I told Santa to take a seat while I pointed out a few things to him.
He sat on my sofa eyeing up the mince pies I had sitting on the table while I poured us both out a drink of wine.
I nodded towards the pies which were hypnotizing the big guy, at this he greedily wolfed them down.
Once he had finnished eating I explained the situation to him; he made a mess of my house, he has eaten my food, he has drunk my wine.
Basically it was payback time and I was not going to settle for a prezzie that I probably did not want anyway.
"OK then, what do you want from me?" said Santa in a way that suggested I had won the right to obtain a favour from him.
Credit where it is due the big guy just sat there nodding his head in agreement at the things I was saying to him and he did not object once to anything that I said.
When I had finnished talking the big guy stood up and said, "Right then you crazy poet, if I am going to do all these things for you I will need some help........from you."
Now I cannot remember anything about me saying that I was going to help him, however I did fancy a ride on that big old sleigh that was perched up on my roof, (I will probably bill him for the broken slates up there but I guess I should concentrate on the work in hand first.)
Looking back on it Santa was a really nice guy because earlier when I told him what I had in mind his big jovial face lit up with happiness, I guess he thought I was wanting something for myself which was far from the truth.
When he realized this his whole attitude changed towards me.
In the sky the scenery was breathtaking.
Santa sure knew how to give his passengers a good time.
Silently we glided through the streets looking for homeless people.
Every time we saw one Santa sprinkled some sort of golden dust over them.
The dust stuck to the people making them glow.
When we had covered the whole city Santa said to me, "In the morning all will be well for these people, I promise you."
Santa then took me home.
I said my goodbyes to him and thanked him warmly for the task that he had just done.
As I turned away to go back into my house Santa said, "Hey you have forgot your present from me."
I looked at Santa's smiling face noticing as I did that there was a sincere truthful look in his eyes.
I said, "You have given me more than I have ever had in my life Santa,
you have given me pride: pride in knowing that for once I have thought of others, helping them to have what we all take for granted"
"Please take the gift Santa and give it to someone special that truly deserves a special gift at this time of the year."
As Santa moved away from the house on his sleigh he tossed the package to me shouting as he did, "This is for someone special and it has your name on it, Ho! Ho! Ho! MERRY CHRISTMAS CRAZY POET!"
I went back inside my house and snuggled up in bed, fell into a deep deep sleep.
During the night I awoke to bright lights shinning through my window.
I opened the curtains and floating right in front of my house were hundreds of the homeless people we threw dust over.
They were all waving at me, beckoning me to join them.
Some were shouting "The Gift! The Gift!"
I opened the gift that Santa had given me and inside the box was a small handfull of the golden dust.
I nervously sprinkled the dust over me and at once began to float in my room.
I opened the window and floated with the homeless, we were being pulled by an unseen force.
In the distance there was a huge golden castle.
We were pulled to this castle where there was a banquet fit for a king laid out on massive tables.
Seeing the joy on the faces of these people who I now call friends was the best Christmas present I have ever had.
A great memorable time was had by all.
So then folks this is the end of my tale, a tale that some of you might not believe but a tale that some of you will want to believe.
At Christmas we should never forget those less fortunate than ourselves as we never know when we might be in the same position.
Thankyou for reading this, I hope it gives you as much pleasure as it did for me writing it.
John Mcleod
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