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Rain and Tears
by Lauren T. (Age: 14)
copyright 04-08-2008


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
You left me here
Here in the rain
You can't feel it
Its my own pain

Here in the rain
The sun is dead
Nothing's okay
A storm is in my head

Puddles of memories
Drops of tears
It hasn't been long
It feels like years

Picking up peices
of shattered dreams
Did you even listen
To my screams?

Rain is falling
Its been so long
Maybe I'll dance in it
Sadness is gone



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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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06-26-2008 Chermayn Fong    

Yay, that was awesome. Relating the moods along with the weather is a great way to express yourself strongly.

On the first stanza, fourth line: "Its my own pain". I'm sure you already know "Its" is supposed to be "It's"

Sorry, I'm quite anal about those kinds of stuff, but it's just me.

Thank you for writing!
06-05-2008 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

We can dwell on the sad or dance in the rain. Like the song says, if you get the chance, Dance! This was short, but a very good read. The message is clear for those that choose to see it! Keep em coming, Anthony
05-23-2008 Brooke M.    

Great poem! I loved how you used a storm, rain, and the weather as a metaphor. It was very imaginative and made a very excellent poem. Keep it up! This is a great read! :)
04-23-2008 Wayne Thomas    

It's simple yet profound. I especially liked the metaphor of "tears" and "rain". Your craftsmaship is obvious even with a few tiny flaws that others have already pointed out. Very good indeed.
Wayne
Visitor Reads: 125
Total Reads: 157
Comments: 4

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