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There’s something I’m forgetting…it’s Saturday. Only a few days left in the year. There was something I wanted to do before the first! I suppose it was just update Valkyrie’s Favor and Iterum Tu Videre on ff.net…but was that really it? I suppose so… Ah well, my battery is almost dead and Lenneth has low HP; I better get to the save screen else Nethov Swamp Monsters will get me.
That was my thought pattern when sitting the backseat of our new Ford Focus when driving back from seeing my grandparents. Yes, I got the to the save, and yes, my battery died. No, I didn’t finish reading Broken Pieces yet…
I was going to type 2007 in the middle of the month since that’s what I the first time (I think) but I then remembered last time I did it on the thirty-first. I remember staring broadly at my PnP author page thinking I should type it, and I’m glad I waited. Why? Well, a lot has changed since the middle of the month.
Not only has my mindset that spending too much time thinking about something makes it seem worse been confirmed (for the umpteenth time). My parents got into the eight-hour argument of a lifetime but things have been relatively peaceful since then. Going up to my grandparents and being exposed to another two families while up there and seeing all the beautiful mountains and lakes reminded me of something; sometimes you have to bite your tongue, use your best judgment, and wing it. There’s no point in trying to plan everything every time. It’ll drive you mad.
I’ve learned a lot this year. Like my previous year summaries, I will go into the mental and emotional changes I’ve gone through this year and then additions to my collection…just because I’m a tad materialistic when it comes to my beloved video games and tech toys. I take such good care of them most of the time it’s ridiculous…however, I am not taking care of my laptop at the moment by charging it when it’s on…
Okay. Back on topic. Early in the year there was great turmoil followed by peace from March to September. I also decided to stop pursuing what never was and never will be. By doing this I learned something about pain. There are things that don’t have to end with crying yourself to sleep and choking back screams and whimpering into one’s pillow. I had enough of that after Sekai wa Subete.
I knew what I was pursuing was foolish from the very start. I decided to stop chaining myself down in early December. Two years is plenty long for a first love. To be truthful, had the situation been different, I’d never tried letting go. But I decided I’ve got enough sanity-trying things going around me. There’s no point in following somebody who doesn’t return your feelings and leaves you crying more than smiling after a while.
I’ll be summarizing those thoughts in a poem or poems titled Pain or Final Letter. Oh, and if I learn what “final” is in Japanese the title will have “tegami” in it. Keep your eyes open for them if you’re interested.
A lot of the poems I’ve written recently have from my own point of view. As for stories and books on PnP, I’m not very active. If you’re interested in my recent work, as long as this isn’t breaking any rules, if you Google “Valkyrie’s Favor” you’ll probably find the Valkyrie Profile fan fiction I have posted to FF.net.
There, I said it! I am officially a fan fiction author now. It’s partly a case of if-you-can’t-beat-them-join-them mixed with I-have-writer’s-block-and-I-have-no-idea-in-screwin’-hell-what-Cea-and-Fila-or-Akhy-and-Cloud-should-do-next. Oh, and some same-candy-bar-different-wrapper syndrome. What that means? It’s when you plots and characters are too similar. Different names and circumstances but the same type of idea under the wrapper. Get it?
If you could read that mess of titles with all the dashes all at once without blinking and rereading them even once, I hereby award you a virtual cookie. It’s my homemade chocolate chip, so enjoy thinking of this warm virtual cookie and go in search of an emoticon of one.
Also, by expanding my name (sort of, it’s not like I actually tell anybody my real name on FF.net…) and getting more feedback I think it’s a good step in the direction to making my dream come true.
What my dream is, you ask? It’s foolhardy and unbalanced, for starters. It isn’t a reel career path that you can take college courses for. Oh, and it isn’t the kind of job that consistently pays the rent and gets food in your stomach. If you hate that expression too, then we’ve already got something in common.
Yes, my dream is to become an author.
But I don’t want to be the average freelancer. I want to write books. Period. I may bend to newspaper columns or newsletters of some form, but it won’t be until I have tasted a sip of the bitter world. In the hateful atmosphere of school I have no desire to get involved with any form of writing but writing books. That lowers my chances of getting in the writing community tenfold. Oh, and I don’t want to have any part in working in the publishing industry. Another words, I don’t want to be writing blurbs or reading manuscripts.
Doesn’t my stubbornness make it sound futile already?
Well, moving onward and upward. All in all, I’ve done a lot of growing this year. Sadly, it’s all mentally. I have maintained the exact same weight, height, and measurements since March when I started making a costume for myself. It’s a sad state of affair to be thirteen and not grow even a messily centimeter in more than nine months. You may mentally insert the crying emoticon here, if you like the idea of it.
Oy, I randomized. As for this emotional growth I feel more mature and think I act such. Though I also decided it’s okay to act silly around my close friends when the situation allows it, so I suppose I didn’t grow that much. I suppose it was more discovery than growth in that sense. But I don’t mind since the word growth makes me think of the sludge in the drain.
I’m just fine with grow, growing, and any other forms of the word though.
Back on track. I’m proud of my accomplishments in writing this year along with dealing with the bad or good situations I’m in with people. Since mentioned my friends in the first year summary I did, I might was well do it now too.
Mehrina B: Alright, you’re an inch taller than me and born on the other side of the earth but you’re still my “Lil Sis” going into this new year! You’ve been there and helped push me in the right direction in just about every serious choice I’ve made this year. Thanks for always sticking with me even when I’m at my darkest and most tiresome or stubborn. I’m very grateful you’re dedicated to editing Iterum Tu Videre and still addicted to my long-running series and even the crappy little short stories.
Jordan Screws: Get off your lazy ass and post some stories next vacation! Your college ends nearly a month sooner than my conventional school so I hope to see you posting more soon. I’ve got Microsoft Works Word Processor on my new laptop (with internet, not to be confused with the year-old Virgin Lappie) so I can run as many word counts as you need. Oh, and don’t worry; I’ll still shoot to be your first comment on updates.
Now for information on my collections! I got a PS3 in April! This year I got a RPG called Enchanted Arms that was okay for it, a really great Ratchet & Clank game for it, and a new game for Christmas called Folklore. I can’t wait for Final Fantasy XIII on it.
I also got a seriously epic Christmas present; the PSP. Not just any PSP, either. It’s a silver new Slim & Light that comes with a Daxter game. I also got Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth and the guide book for it! Ever since playing Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria I’ve been addicted to the Norse Mythological plot. Not only did I make Lenneth’s costume but I’ve got two Valkyrie Profile fan fictions going, as I previously mentioned, Valkyrie’s Favor and Iterum Tu Videre.
Yes, I’m repeating myself so you search them and review. I accept anonymous reviewers, too. Oh, and “review” to FF.net is “comment” to PnP.
I was also surprised with Final Fantasy and Final Fantasy II, to other PSP games. Yes, I’m doing my Hot Skaata Dance to really loud Gackt as we speak.
My all-time favorite series is Xenosaga, but it ended prematurely a Episode III. I dragged my father up to the city to get Episode III and it holds the venerated place as my favorite game of all systems and series. In my book, it’s much better than even Final Fantasy X.
The first game in the Xenosaga Trilogy is Der Wille zur Macht (yes, I typed it without checking and didn’t have my spell checker pick at it) and it was adapted to an anime in Japan. With seven hours of scenes it’s not surprising they could do it. It was announced this summer they’re releasing the anime with new English voiceovers in the US. I saw screenshots and I’ve read the anime isn’t that great, and I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high. Especially because KOS-MOS isn’t voiced by Bridget Hoffman…
Even though with the first two volumes of the anime on DVD sitting on the keyboard panel below my laptop my fingers are itching to pop them in my laptop and glue myself to the screen for exactly 200 minutes of Xenosaga anime and have a WordPad open so I can type random ideas I get for my Xenosaga fan fiction. I admit to being slightly obsessed with Xenosaga even now…
Also, Utada Hikaru, my absolute favorite singer, is coming out with a new Japanese album this coming year! She also is working on and may be releasing an English album over here in the States in 2008. If she does release two I’ll dub 2008 the Year of No Silence because either my CD Player or iPod will be on most of the day.
I also discovered my second favorite singer, Gackt, this year. Yes, his name sounds like vomiting. My collection of music grew by about $200 or $300 and is around 40 CDs. Gackt is J-Rock but my usual likes of J-Pop still consist of Utada Hikaru and Maaya Sakamoto. I’ve heard a little Amuro Namie and from the three songs I heard she’s worth my money to purchase some CDs. However, even though Ayumi Hamasaki is very popular I detest her work. She makes my stomach turn and my head hurt.
I also advise you never waste your money on BoA unless you like the poor American pop we’re surrounded with nowadays.
Oh, I also got an iPod this year! I was determined to get the Second Generation though the Third Generation was released the day after my dad agreed to chip twenty dollars in so I could buy one back in September. I wanted the red one so badly and couldn’t buy the Second Generations from Apple anymore.
So, we went out to the closest Best Buy (about half an hour away) and they sold out of all Second Generations. We then called Circuit City and they didn’t have any Nanos. So, much to my delight, we ended up going south instead of north to the closest Apple Store (about an hour and a half away). I was in the largest city I’ve ever seen and the largest mall I’ve ever seen and on the brink of squealing as the little box was handed to me. I really love my Nano, it holds every CD in my collection with nearly 2 GBs to spare.
You’ve gotten my rant, it’s really long, and that’s almost all I’ve got to say. 2008 is looking really bright from my point of view but I’m still apprehensive. 2007 has been great but these even-numbered years don’t seem to like me. I’ve never liked even numbers and seven is my favorite number. I didn’t think 2007 was going to hold to being the second year containing my favorite number that I experiences, but that little zero seven is on many of the “Last Modified” dates on my stories, CDs, games, and many other gadgets.
It’s also on a lot of saved IM conversations. I lost a lot when my computer crashed, but it was the only big thing I lost. Thank goodness my parents spoil me and my birthday present in 2006 was a laptop or else I’d of lost four years of writing. I stopped printing my stories due to cost. I do burn discs daily to get updates to my fans and editor, but I’d still have lost lots of data.
As for my lack of luck with the even numbered years, the firs that stands out to me is 2004. I was in Florida for three months and experienced a hurricane and the death of a semi-family-member. It wasn’t that painful, but it was life changing for me. I never once thought myself adequate to me a role model and I’m sad to say I may never be again.
In 2006 I had numerous mental break downs and my own weakness and fear hurt those that mean the most of me in the process. The “train” was really off “track” in 2006 but it got back on the “rails” in 2007.
I have no real reason to fear 2008 but knowing it’s followed by 2009, and nine is my least favorite number, two years of bad numbers have me looking for darkness shadowed within the light before getting out of bed in the morning.
Thanks for reading all my ranting. Many parts of it are deeply strange, like my thoughts on even numbers, but I hope you can leave this document without thinking I’m totally cracked. J
Sayonara 2007
“Knowichiwa” & Konnichiwa 2008
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