| |
Author's Note- Once a year at my church, the youth group does a service. (We do everything from leading the music to reading scripture) This year, I was selected by my youth group to do the testimony/sermon, which I had to write on my own. This is what I wrote for the service:
Three years ago, when I was in 6th grade, I had an almost perfect mask. I achieved straight A’s in school, I excelled in sports, I got a great role in the community play, I attended church, and I had my own group of close friends. Wearing a mask didn’t bother me like other people. I actually liked myself better with my mask. Sure it wasn’t me and I had to lie here-and-there, but the mask helped lead a socially acceptable life. But it never occurred to me that living behind a mask might be unacceptable in God’s eyes.
I really didn’t realize that living behind a mask was bad. Nobody had ever told me so. It didn’t appear to be against the bible, because it wasn’t lying, but hiding. It seemed like everyone had one. There was no big occurrence in my life that changed my mind on wearing a mask. But I got my wake up call soon enough...
I’m not really sure how it happened, it just did. My friends started to drift away, slowly ignoring me and hanging around me less. Before then, my friends were the center of my life. We hung out at least every week and were glued together at school. You could say that I was “the leader” of my little group, and that my best friend was my advisor. But then things started to change.
My friends wouldn’t sit with me anymore, and if I chose to sit with them they wouldn’t look or talk to me or they would just find another seat. I tried to work things out with them, but they said that they just didn’t like me anymore. And when I tried to win back their friendship, they’d spread rumors and they once even passed around a petition to sign, saying reasons to hate me. I got terrible emails, and was ridiculed at school. My old best friend was the one who hurt me the most. Slowly, my mask started to crumple apart.
My sports I did and the play I was in had ended. I was so distracted in school trying to avoid my old friends that my grades plummeted. And I didn’t even have friends anymore. My mask was gone, and it was then when I started to hate myself. I just felt so alone.
Things kept on getting worse, and I wondered why God didn’t do anything to help me. I would only pray at dinner with my family, I did no other talking with God. I really started to lose my faith, because I felt that God could have done something to make it all better. He could have prevented it from happening in the first place. I wasn’t really sure what to believe in anymore.
Things at school got worse, and I eventually stopped talking at school all together. I would cry at school everyday, and my old best friend seemed to enjoy my pain. I would get threats if it appeared that I was going to tell a teacher or try to get help. I ate lunch alone everyday for three months. I was really depressed, and I was ashamed to be seen at school. Finally I had enough. I couldn’t bear to come to school, so I faked a fever for a week.
During that week, I was left at home alone a lot. I was used to being alone, and at least it was better than being at school. During that week, I looked into bible, searching for some answer that could help me solve my problems.
I found what I thought I already knew: that we were supposed to love our enemies no matter what, and forgive them for their wrong doings. It seemed a bit crazy to me, because I couldn’t even imagine forgiving my old best friend for what she had done. I looked deeper, and seemed to be amazed at what I found. Suddenly, it all seemed to click.
I guess that you could say for the past couple months in 6th grade, I was really lonely. But I realized that God made us that way for a reason, and it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You see, God put it this one part of us that will always feel empty and alone. We’ll try to fill this hole up with our activities, with material things, with love, or with friends. We’ll try to complete this emptiness with our masks. But no matter what we fill it with, it will eventually always let us down, and we will feel worse than ever.
I thought that I would never have friends again, that I could never trust anyone anymore. It’s still hard to talk about, but I need to share my experience. What had really happened was that I tried to fill that space inside of me with my friends and with my mask. By doing this, I went to my friends for everything and I lived glued to my mask. I believed that I couldn’t survive without them. And it’s no surprise that they disappointed me.
Nevertheless, I was so crushed when my friends didn’t like me anymore. I felt so depressed and rejected, but that hard road led me back to God. And it was then that I realized that I was trying to put my friends and my mask in the place where only God can fill. Jesus is the only one who can complete that space inside of us, and make us whole. That was then, for first time in my life, when I realized that God had made that void inside us for Jesus.
Now I know that God will bring in the perfect friends into my life for me someday. They’ll be ones that I can always trust and that I can depend on. But these friends will be different than the ones I had in 6th grade. This is because I won’t expect them to be everything, like my past friends. They’ll be second place to God. But that second place is better than where I put my past friends, because it’s the right place. Everything will fit, and will be in order.
I know that you can relate to this. Some of you have already filled this space inside of you with Jesus, by inviting him into your heart, and you’re living happier and more content lives than before. I know that it’s not perfect, but it’s always better with Jesus. Maybe some of you are still struggling with that loneliness.
Maybe you’re still trying to fill that hole with a boyfriend of girlfriend, with money, with work, or with whatever you think will make you happy. There’s nothing wrong with these things, as long as their in their proper places. They can never fit into that void that God made for Jesus to be in. And until you find Jesus and let him into your heart, you will always be looking for something else. Something bigger, better, nicer; something to make you whole. But you will never find it, until you find Jesus.
Every now and then, I’ll see my old best friend from sixth grade at school. She’ll say my name, the same way she used to say it before things went wrong, as if we were the same naïve friends that we were three years ago. It doesn’t bother me like it usually would, because I have found Jesus, and I don’t need an artificial mask to complete me, like I thought I did a while ago. And though things may not be perfect, they’re a whole lot better when I have Jesus to help me through. Thank you.
|
Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
|
 |
|
|
|
Select a Random Work
from Stories
|
|
Welcome !
