Power Of Words
by
Nancy Pawley
copyright 01-08-2008
Age Rating: 13 to 127
Picture Credits:
Young Annica says to her best friend, Jim
why are none of your stories uplifting
like a sunrise perfected and filled to the brim
with lavender hours, soft clouds slowly drifting?
With eyes that are downcast, Jim faintly replies
all I'm promised are monsters and roadwhores
completely controlling hellos and goodbyes
the opening and closing of life's swinging doors
Annica:
Spring turtles wear helmets as they bask in the sun
on the banks of the fast flowing river
swimming and diving, splashed with innocent fun
accepting what's offered, partakers and givers
Jim:
I seriously doubt that the lay of the land
can give me good reasons for living
a nightmare surreal is what I understandand
a turbulant surface leaves me shaking and shivering
Annica:
Spotted butterflies sporting gossamer wings
that float among pink perfumed roses
giggles and laughter as children are playing
under blue skies and pot 'o gold rainbows
Jim:
The outside world is parched beyond reason
Unconsecrated thoughts of spiritual demise
Bitter rewards, a thunderhead season
Love is a feeling that mystifies
Annica:
God's reason for making this world is His love
the truth that was lost now is found
The angels sing praises in heaven above
Good overcomes evil in Life's battleground
Both sorrow and joy are weighed in the balance
Each offers its own mating call
Victims or victors of each circumstance
In deserts of drought or refreshing rainfall
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Great work, Nancy! The flow and the rhythm are flawless, the rhyme scheme is wonderfully natural with its abab pattern (I know from experience that this takes takes a lot of extra work!) and the message has interest and impact. It is good to read your work again.
I love how the poem begins and then goes into the fundamental truth about God and His purpose for making creation. A big thing that goes a long way is acknowledging the truth and letting it set people free. Thanks for sharing this with us. Excellent work!!!
I like the structure of this poem; the use of a dialog is interesting and offers a lot of possibilities -- conflict and resolution as you've done here. I would work on tuning a few of the rhymes and smoothing the rhythm in a couple spots as it's always jarring to have a pair of words not quite match when everything else around it works so well. The roses/rainbows pair are an example of this. Their close, but not close enough. Wings/playing is the other one that caught my attention. Overall, a very enjoyable piece.