My Sweet Sacrifice
by
Chelsea Armstrong
(Age: 22)
copyright 01-09-2008
Age Rating: 18 to 127
Picture Credits: www
I lie broken in the new fallen snow
Insulting its innocent beauty, with the color of adultery
Today I am broken,
Today I am alone,
All I have are thoughts of you.
It has only been two years since I fell into your arms
Knowing fully well that you were mine.
But all that is gone now
How could I have been so Stupid
To burn Paradise?
How could I?
You were Never mine.
I must have been dreaming.
I never got the chance to say good-bye,
Nor did I ever get to apologize for what had gone so wrong.
And now that you are so far away,
I will never get to be the one to make you smile.
Good-bye my dear
May all the tears
And laughter
Remain in your heart
For I do not want to be forgotten
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The structure of this poem is excellent from beginning to end. It is developed with tragic sentiments with the opening stanza puling you in and once in you can not stop reading.
great write. Keep up the good work.
My favs:
I lie broken in the new fallen snow
Insulting its innocent beauty, with the color of adultery
Today I am broken,
Today I am alone,
All I have are thoughts of you.
It has only been two years since I fell into your arms
Knowing fully well that you were mine.
But all that is gone now
Good-bye my dear
May all the tears
And laughter
Remain in your heart
For I do not want to be forgotten
This one really touched me. I have been on the road to healing after being married to the same woman for over 37 years, and having her leave me. Great writing, and if it is from the heart, then may you also heal with time!
A wonderful, extreme reflection of your story of the past. I loved the feel and mechanics of this poem very much and I'm glad that you decided to share it with us! Thanks!!
This is a sad, but very common story. We seem to forget what we have sometimes and let our animal instincts take over. Lust is strong and sometimes we are vulnerable. I hope the story has a happy ending! Thank you for bringing me back, I will return the favor! Anthony
Arms wrapped in words, love lingers, as time does, often the heart writes, but seldom do the two combine to create, this poem does all that and more.. Walt
I love great first lines, whether in poems or novels; and your poem has a great first line. It establishes the voice and sets the mood and, most importantly, draws you into the poem and makes you read more. Makes you want to read more. And, in this case, the effort is well rewarded. Nice job!
Welcome !
