Rachel Falling
by
Mike Gallimore
(Age: 58)
copyright 03-05-2008
Age Rating: 13 to 127
She met him yesterday outside St. Bart’s while heading toward the park;
It’s autumn; air is cold; she’s looking down, walking fast;
Almost knocks him over paying for his cab.
There’s embarrassment,
And suddenly there is more…
There is his hand brushing back the hair behind her ear,
Lingering a moment by her cheek as he inhales her perfume;
There is her hand reaching up to touch his,
Warm and soft, smell of calfskin, resting on her cheek.
There is a nod, a look, a question without words –
A new vocabulary minted on the spot –
And then a kiss so brief she isn’t sure it was,
As he walks back to the Waldorf;
Calls the doorman Freddy
And points to Rachel standing by the cab,
As if to say this girl will be back,
And when she is you
Send for me at once.
She’s going to mean the world to me
Forever.
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you recommend or rate the work highly...
Very nicely done! With all the sensitivity and grace that one would expect from such an encounter between two such people. But the emotional content and the imagery, along with smells and sights and my beloved texture, give it depth of meaning and validate the encounter. Even the bitter-sweet ending is good, even though we would have liked more. ^^ It's complete and coherent, flows smoothly and doesn't have too many bumps. Since my pen is out and is hungry tonight, it wants me to mention that it was confused by the smell of calfskin--it didn't know to whom the glove belonged. A little thing, perhaps not worth mentioning, but enough for me to read it over some, and my pen usually being salty, performed its duties. ^^
It was well-worth the reading several times, however, and each time I was as entranced as the first.
Moments in time become special. This poem tells of a special encounter. The story is very nice and you wrote this well. Draws the reader in and they must finish to learn the outcome. I like it a lot! Anthony
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